Kind to each other

A Journey from Self Criticism to Self Appreciation

self-appreciation

Have you cornered yourself with the following statements?

  1. I cannot do anything.
  2. I am the one doing wrong.
  3. Other people are better than me.
  4. I am good for nothing.

If you have, then you have been in the self-criticism zone. Self-criticism by definition is to disapprove or criticize oneself/one’s own actions. In this fast-moving world, where competition is everywhere, people tend to self-criticize themselves. There is something called positive criticism and negative criticism. The type that hampers the growth of a person is negative criticism. This can lead a person to think very low of oneself. There is a fine line between self-criticism and self-correction. There are people who would call, self-correction, which is a positive way to point out the mistakes and work on them. And then, there are the other categories of people who take it in a negative way leading to depression, discontentment etc. I am sure nobody likes to stay in the disapproval land thus, there are a couple of ways, through which one can overcome excessive self-criticism.

An Exit from Self Criticism

I have been an average student all my academic life. What stopped me from crossing the average line was excessive criticism. Any competition or exam, I was never happy with my performance. I was always finding the grass greener on the other side. This continuous self-disapproval made me feel very low about myself. Even the things that I was best at, I started to fail in them. It wasn’t long when I realized that self-criticising was getting me nowhere. Then I made an exit plan from the criticizing zone.

1. Treat yourself like a friend:

One thing that I realized during the self-recovery period was that in all the hard times I had myself to lean back on. People in the midst of everything tend to forget that they are the constant support to themselves. One would feel a lot better if one starts treating oneself like a friend. Thus this is the first step.

2. Self Reflection:

This does not mean to reflect on the mistakes, rather this means to reflect on all the things happening in one’s life. This would give a person a better perspective towards life and oneself. Self-reflection can help a person look at things from a neutral and unbiased way.

3. Acceptance of the present situation:

It was always difficult to accept the things that were happening with me, thus moving on was complicated. Once I accepted the situation, I figured a different way out, which was less painful. Accepting the situation is a tough task. Sometimes people undergo very hard times and accepting those situations is not easy. But one has to come to terms with reality and move on because life is all about the next step that you take.

4. Adjusting one’s expectations:

Expectations can either make you or break you. If you perform well in any field, people tend to expect more from you. Disappointing people is tolerable, but disappointing oneself can break a person. Hence it is important to adjust the expectations according to one’s ability. Everyone is not same and this truth needs to be accepted.

An Entry to Self Appreciation

How many of us appreciate ourselves on the smallest achievements, or successes? As far as I am concerned my appreciation varied with the results of others. I often compared my success with others and found myself behind them. This was not self-appreciation. It was a comparison. Appreciation is very important to move ahead. For instance, if a child is appreciated on any kind of success, the child’s confidence reaches another level. The child will work harder to get more appreciation. And I am sure that all of us like appreciation, then why not start appreciating ourselves? There are some ways how one can do that:

1. Knowing the difference between Self Love and Self Obsession:

The first step towards self-appreciation is to love oneself. Loving oneself means, to accept oneself as a whole. It includes the perfections and the imperfections that the person has. Being comfortable with one’s own company is also a sign of self-love. Self-love can turn into a self-obsession. Thus one needs to draw the line there.

2. Be true to yourself:

If the person has accepted oneself completely then this step is easy. In order to avoid the self-guilt and blame game, it is better to accept the truth. Lying to one’s own self will lead a person nowhere.

3. Appreciate where you are:

One must appreciate, for how far one has come. Stuck in the swamp of self-criticism, one forgets to acknowledge this aspect.

4. Say what you feel:

It is better to let it out than keeping it in. Be confident and put forth your views. Let the idea/ thought/ view be as stupid or good as possible. Say what you feel, even if it is different from what the others feel.

If one follows this plan, they would notice that they have arrived the destination i.e. the self-appreciation land. When you feel stuck in the self-criticism area just remember these words by Louise L. Hay:

Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

You will be surprised to see what you have, to offer yourself.

Author’s Bio

Joane Smith is a writer associated with Write me an assignment fast
She has written articles on various topics, like education, parenting etc. She likes to travel and cook occasionally.

Here at Positive Words Research, we are looking to share with our readers original content that hasn’t been published on other sites so if you are comfortable with Positive Words Research being your sole publisher, we are more than happy to share with our readers your inspiring and empowering story.

Formal Ladies Dresses on Events ~ Dress To Impress

dresses

A gala is usually a formal event that takes place during a fundraiser or special occasion. Women and men must all go out and wear their most beautiful formal ladies dresses because there are generally strict enough codes to respect to this kind of event.

Opt for elegance and extravagance!

Wear a sumptuous dress and shiny accessories, even if you feel slightly uncomfortable. A formal outfit will allow you to honor your host or the man who accompanies you at the event. It’s time to wear a real formal outfit!

Consider an evening or cocktail dress… but do not feel that you have to limit yourself to these choices. In general, evening dresses are longer and go down to the ground. They can sometimes have an asymmetrical hem or a very high slit in the leg. Cocktail dresses are shorter and usually stop just above the knees. At one time, the evening dress was the only acceptable choice, but today, we usually accept cocktail dresses. Moreover, the difference between the two is not always clear.

If Angelina Jolie does not need to wear formal ladies dresses for the BAFTA ceremony, neither do you! Although an elegant dress is a classic choice for a woman, there are other options. You may need to research a little more and know that your daring choice may be unexpected at a gala.

You could wear a male-inspired outfit (like the one worn by Angelina Jolie at the BAFTA ceremony in 2014), a pantsuit or a distinguished jacket-trouser combination. Just make sure that the overall effect is formal and tasteful.

Wear pumps. Good choices are stiletto heels, open stilettos and those with thongs. Avoid thick shoes with thick soles like hooves. Make sure the color of your shoes matches that of your dress. They do not have to be identical, but they must complement each other. If you hesitate, choose black shoes.

You can also spice up your outfit by wearing lightly sequined shoes

Satin shoes are almost always acceptable for galas.

Do not wear shoes with wedges, cork or wood, or boots of any kind.

If you wear flat shoes, you may have trouble walking without getting your feet in the bottom of a long formal ladies dresses. Wear rather heels or a shorter dress.

If you cannot or do not want to wear shoes, you can find elegant flat shoes. Employees in a good women’s shoe store should be able to advise you.

If you are accompanied by a man, try not to look too big compared to him. If you are tall, try wearing low heels or flat shoes.

Add a little sparkle to your outfit with your accessories.

If your dress is already a little shiny, choose discreet accessories. Wear simple dangling earrings. Wear a pretty necklace and a pretty bracelet that goes with your glittering dress without competing with it.

Your jewels must be of good taste. Really precious jewelry such as pearl necklaces, diamond earrings and gold bracelets are traditional feminine accessories.

Fancy jewelry is often quite acceptable on formal ladies dresses, as long as it remains elegant. For example, it is unlikely that you take a rhinestone necklace for a real diamond necklace, but it will add a sublime glitter to your dress.

Author’s Bio

I’m Hassan. I’m internet marketing (SEO) professional with 5 years of experience. I love to update myself with latest marketing techniques. Marketing is not only my profession, it’s actually my passion to market web pages on the different search engines and Social medias.

Here at Positive Words Research, we are looking to share with our readers original content that hasn’t been published on other sites so if you are comfortable with Positive Words Research being your sole publisher, we are more than happy to share with our readers your inspiring and empowering story.

10 Simple Ways for Rapid Fat Loss for the New Year

Rapid Fat Loss

2017 is just around the corner, and who doesn’t want to get rid of that last piece of flab hanging near the belly just in time for the count down? Losing weight might not be easy, but there are things you can do to bring the onset of rapid fat loss just in time for the holidays, and without a lot of effort.

What most people need to understand is the fact that depriving our bodies of all the nutrition that it so obviously needs might not be the right way to reach the ‘ideal size’. And all of what you are trying to accomplish does not come with massive leaps towards weight loss, in fact, it’s actually the opposite. The only thing to remember is that baby steps can get you a lot closer to your ideal weight than anything else.

With that thought, learn about these simple ways to reach your weight goals so that your fancy old jeans can fit you just right, and just in time for the New Year.

1. A Pen is Mightier than a Sword

You know how we end up munching mindlessly till we realize that we’ve ruined all the work that was put into that tedious, gut-wrenching diet? Yeah, that’s the feeling. Writing down the amount and frequency of your portions can help you get the reality-check you so direly need. Keeping a food journal that tracks all the items you consume in a day can help you stay on track. Things like ‘I ate just 30 minutes ago’ can really help you realize whether you’re actually hungry, or just giving in to the cravings.

2. Skip, Jump, and Trot through the Commercials

Who doesn’t have a favorite TV show these days, and the best way to utilize all that sitting-around time during the commercial breaks is with a few lunges, or maybe even some skips. Anything that can get you to work up a little sweat as you wait for the mother of dragons to show up can amount to huge progress in the end. If you are going to have a 2 hour TV night in, might as well make it a productive one.

3. Limit Your Cravings for Fat

List down all your favorite high-fat and high-calorie foods and start planning a downshift. No kidding. Everyone likes candy, ice cream, potato chips, fries and cookies, but that doesn’t mean you have to survive on all of that. Try some healthy alternatives like sautéed vegetables or fresh fruits.

4. Add Tongkat Ali to Your Fitness Regime

It’s amazing what nature can do for rapid fat loss, but it’s sad that most of us barely ever find out about how we can use natural ingredients to accelerate the weight loss process. Malaysian Ginseng, or Tongkat Ali is a therapeutic herb which is often used to boost male testosterone levels, or as an aphrodisiac. The herb’s ability to act as herbal medicine is limitless, since it helps normalize the hormonal levels of the body, and keeps all your bodily functions in check. The result? A boosted metabolism that is more immune to weight gain, and a few extra pounds off the scale.

5. Add 5 Minutes to Your Daily Walk

You must indulge in some kind of strenuous physical activity for at least 30 minutes each day, but why stop there? Each time you are on your daily walk, resolute to contribute 5 extra minutes. This will help you burn 120 extra calories, and how can that ever be a bad thing?

6. Climb a Few More Flights

Stair climbing can do miracles for your weight loss, and a few extra flights of stairs can help you increase your stamina and decrease your waistline in no time. Climbing is a very effective way to target all the areas where fat generally accumulates, which makes it the easiest way to lose all that extra fat before the holidays.

7. Avoid Eating Out

The best way to cut down on calories and save thousands of dollars a year is to brown-bag it. Make your own lunches for work and try to eat in rather than giving in to the urge. Yes, that steak might look delicious now but once it is consumed and accumulated around your thighs, it isn’t so pretty anymore.

8. Don’t Juice ‘Em, Drink ‘Em!

Try skipping the juice and eat the whole fruit to get all that heart friendly fiber your system is craving for. Chewing food helps generate more saliva, which prepares your gut for digestion, while juices can be less filling, less satisfying, and can make you crave more. Try eating the apple instead of drinking it.

9. Support Goes a Long Way

Not one to exercise alone? No problem. Have a buddy to take along when you exercise. This can help you get the motivation you need to stay on track with your fitness regime, so get your friends involved and work out together.

10. Coffee, sure, but NO MILK & Sugar!

A regular cup of coffee carries a lot of calories, while on the contrary; black coffee can help you accelerate the fat burning process. Ditch the sugar too, and turn the first drink of the day into a healthy one. Coffee with milk and sugar carries as many calories as a small dessert, while black coffee actually helps burn the extra calories your body is holding on to.

With only a few simple tricks, that dream of a perfect body can turn into a reality. So don’t think too much before starting off on the right track to get in shape for the New Year.

Positive Words Research – 10 Simple Ways for Rapid Fat Loss for the New Year

6 Non-Threatening Ways to Get out of Your Comfort Zone

new-hobby

We read about people who have quit their jobs, found their passports, and taken off to another country with only a few hundred dollars in their pockets. In many ways, we envy them – we wish we had the “guts” to do something like that. We don’t have the guts, because we have never left our comfort zones, even in small ways. 

Starting Small

And that is rather the key. We will never consider a major exodus from our comfort zones because we have not built up to it. That adventurer who has just left for parts unknown? He has practiced getting out of his comfort zone for years. He began with small things and worked his way up so that now he does not fear huge changes – he embraces them. He has developed a sense of self-confidence that allows him to take risks. So it should be with you. You can practice getting out of your comfort zone right now, and these small steps can lead to bigger ones.

1. Take a Course About Which You Know Nothing

Maybe you have always admired people who can draw or play an instrument. What’s stopping you? Sign up for some lessons or a course at the local community college. Get yourself out among others who share that interest. Get away from TV and Facebook and just do it.

2. Practice Random Acts of Kindness

Reaching out to strangers is difficult for those of us who have always lived within our own little circles of friends, acquaintances, and institutions (workplaces, church, etc.). Participating in a “soup kitchen” event on Thanksgiving, sponsored by your work or church is comfortable. Seeing strangers in need and reaching out to them on a personal level is quite different. That mother ahead of you in line at the grocery store who must put some items back? Approach her and offer to pay. Every time you make contact with a complete stranger is a time you get out of your comfort zone. Soon, you may find yourself striking up conversations with complete strangers all the time – new “worlds” open up.

3. Visit Different Places of Worship

Whether you consider yourself a religious person or not, it is always a good thing to expose yourself to religions, cultures, and belief systems that are “foreign” to you. If you consider yourself a Christian, how about attending services at a mosque of a Jewish temple? Or, how about a “new age” gathering? You will expose yourself to a variety of thought and make connections with those who view life very differently.

4. Think About Writing for Publication

O.K. so this is not an option for everyone, but think about it for a minute. You have a lifetime of experiences and ideas to share. Take those to the next level by sharing them with others. You don’t have to be a skilled writer – there is a host of writing services out there, like WritingDaddy, that can take our thoughts and ideas and translate them into creative articles and blog posts that you can then submit for publication. Over time, you may develop your own skills and discover a great outlet for connecting with others.

5. Food – Yes, It Can be a Path Out of Your Comfort Zone Too

Instead of basking in your traditional “comfort foods,” try foods you have never eaten before. Go to a Thai or Vietnamese or Indian restaurant. Get online and retrieve some African and Middle Eastern recipes. We get stuck in our old favorite foods, but changing out what we eat may work toward changing out how we think about other things too.

6. Try a New Hobby

We have developed “outside” interests, and we are comfortable with them. Perhaps we garden, work on cars, play a sport, or play an instrument. It’s time to change this out. Take up photography, a different sport – something totally foreign to you.

Small Steps Lead to Larger Ones 

These steps are no threatening to your very being – you are not abandoning your life’s work or friends and family. You are, however, gradually coming to see that change can be a good thing. Once you are at ease with change, you can begin to make larger changes that may indeed move you on a new path of wonder and adventure.

Diana-Beyer

Author΄s bio: 

Diana Beyer is experienced and self-driven specialist who is passionate about writing.

She is always seeking to discover new ways for personal and professional growth.