Heart needs

Clarifying Words for Head vs Heart Decisions

Head vs Heart

When faced with a head vs heart decision, we find ourselves conflicted between what we feel and what we know.

Our intuition and our knowledge seem to oppose each other. We find ourselves unable to make a decision; we can’t simply disregard either perspective.

We value both of these perspectives because, on some level, we know that there is truth in each of them.

If we manage to reconcile these two perspectives, we can make a more informed and more effective choice than if we were to disregard either one.

Intuition vs Emotionality

Sometimes, we find ourselves emotionally inclined towards something that defies our better judgement.

This emotionality can have many sources; some constructive, and some destructive.

At its best, our intuition represents knowledge that lies just beneath the surface. When we get a funny feeling about someone or something, it is usually because we have observed something subconsciously.

It may be a discrepancy, a loophole, or something otherwise suspicious. It is something we know, yet can’t quite describe.

For instance, if we know intuitively that a certain choice could backfire, we will probably get an unsettling feeling. That makes intuition a useful tool, worth our consideration.

Our intuition is confounded when our emotions lead us astray. If we have conflicts of interest, or if our insecurities are at play, our intuition may mislead us.

Because of this, intuition alone is not a basis for a decision. Rather, intuition is a clue that prompts us to do more conscious investigation, so we can find the source of that funny feeling we have.

Knowledge vs Bias

This is how our knowledge can fill in the gaps left by our intuition. When our dilemma seems impossible to resolve, we can often satisfy our discomfort by finding the basis for our intuition.

If our intuition is caused by a conflict of interest or personal insecurity, further investigation will help us discredit it. This will lead our misplaced intuition to be replaced by a calm, secure sense of resolve.

If we really think about our choices, we can develop forethought, allowing us to anticipate and prepare for things that would have otherwise ambushed us. When we can predict the consequences of any particular decision, the choice often becomes clear.

The trouble with knowledge is our inability to know when it is incomplete. Too often, we only have half the story, even when we think we are fully informed. We may take action with full confidence of the turnout, only to find ourselves surprised and unprepared.

To make matters worse, our emotionality interferes with our knowledge, causing bias. Despite our good intentions, we may unknowingly seek out information that suits our emotions, rather than investigating impartially.

This is where our sense of intuition can help us resolve our uncertainty.

Head vs Heart

We can have the best of both worlds. Knowledge and intuition are not mutually exclusive; they are complementary.

We should strive to reconcile these two perspectives. If we choose only one, we ignore the insight that the other had to offer us. We make a less informed decision, leaving us flying blind.

On the other hand, if we can combine the insight from both our head and our heart, we see the bigger picture; we make better decisions with greater confidence.

But even with such a holistic perspective, it is true that knowledge is largely determined by our emotions. These emotional barriers can make it impossible to be certain of our own objectivity. When this is the case, we must borrow the impartiality of others.

Guidance

Asking for help is a valuable tool that can help us break through this barrier. People who are not personally involved in our situation can offer us an unemotional, non-conflicted perspective.

This perspective can offer us a constructive sense of doubt when we are too certain of ourselves, and reinforce our confidence if our perspective is clear.

Nevertheless, their interpretation is limited by the information we give them, which itself is subject to our own interpretation. They are also biased by their loyalties and preconceptions.

Vigilance

We should therefore always be conscientious. There is no such thing as total certainty; hasty confidence should be viewed with skepticism.

The closest we can get to true certainty is a calm assuredness, based on an unemotional interpretation of what we know (including an awareness of what we do not know).

We can reach this point by using all the tools in our arsenal. Through this variety, we can gain insight about our dilemmas as they arise.

As we practice this investigation repeatedly, we begin to recognize patterns, both in the outcomes of our decisions and in our personal biases. Not only do we prosper from our own good decisions; we gain wisdom about ourselves and the world around us.

About the Author: The goal of Superspective is to provide a support system and to encourage introspection; when we use these tools to self-actualize, we can each contribute to the world in our own unique way. See more of what Superspective has to offer at superspective.org

The Best Gifts for Making Someone Feel Better After a Painful Experience

gifts

When someone you know has undergone a painful experience, whether it be the death or illness of a loved one, their own health concerns, a turbulent move to a new job, city, or school, a natural catastrophe, or a break-up, giving a gift can be a wonderful way to show solidarity and to lift that person’s spirits.

As Lech Dvorak wrote, “Dedicate time to your loved ones.” Spending time nurturing and caring for your relationships with others is important to maintain healthy bonds of connectivity.

A present is a gift from the heart to the hands of someone who is passing through a difficult time. It is a non-verbal sign that you are thinking of them and want them to be happy and healed. That consideration alone is a wonderful present to give someone.

To make your present extra special, you don’t need to spend a great deal of money. What is best is a gift that shows your knowledge and concern for the person who is recovering. The perfect present demonstrates that you are attentive to their emotional needs and aware of the things that interest them.

1. Personalize to Please

The best gifts for making someone feel better after a painful experience are the ones that demonstrate that you pay attention to what that person cares about. Consider customizing a gift, such as a T-shirt or coffee mug or wallet. You can have it printed with the person’s name, favorite sports team, school, or city to make it extra-special!

2. Good Sports

If you know that your friend has a passion for sports, and in particular is very interested in volleyball and loves to play every weekend, find awesome gifts for volleyball players at your favorite sporting goods store. Is your friend a yogi? A yoga mat and PBA/PVC-free water bottle will be appreciated. A sports-related gift will encourage the recipient to exercise, which is a wonderful thing for the mind. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise releases feel-good brain chemicals that may ease depression, such as “neurotransmitters, endorphins, and endocannabinoids.”

3. Turn the Page

Another gift that is useful is a something that will take the individual’s mind off their problems, or conversely, show them others who have dealt with a similar situation and overcome it. For this reason, books make a wonderful gift. If you are inspired by a particular book, it makes an awesome gift to unwrap. If not, consider a gift card from a store like Powell’s Books – The World’s Largest Independent Bookstore. They have a wonderful website and they ship!

4. Bubbles Up!

Try making up a basket of organic bath and body care products. You can find lines from your local farmacy to the farmers’ market to upscale boutique lines. Simply fill an attractive basket or pretty gift bag with a loofah, soaps, lotions, and body scent for a fun treat. If you’re unsure how to begin to fill the basket, consider the Weleda brand of beauty products for men, women, and children. Weleda is one of the original lines of organic body and beauty products and they consistently win accolades for cruelty-free beauty products.

5. Go Green

Give a gift of green. There’s something inspiring about a plant. Whether cut flowers, a living plant, or planting a tree in someone’s honor or memory. There are many programs that will plant a tree, such as The National Forest Foundation, among others. Make the world greener and more beautiful as you’re cheering up a friend.

6. Experience It

A new experience may make the perfect present. Whether tickets to a must-see show such as Hamilton or a Southwest Airlines gift card, or season seats to the Lakers, or a night at the opera or the best jazz club in town, a ticket for experience, culture, or travel may be the very thing to help your friend move on. At the very least, it will be sure to inspire someone to get off the couch, and that can be the first step to getting over the painful experience.

7. Color it Beautiful

Creating something can be a meditative way to gain control, relax, and unwind. You don’t have to be an artist to enjoy the benefits. Give the gift of art supplies. For the more accomplished artist, an easel and professional quality paint may be perfect, while the beginning artist may enjoy one of the best-selling coloring books for grown-ups, such as “The Mindfulness Coloring Book” or “Secret Garden,” and a new box of colored pencils to make life more beautiful. Expressing oneself through creativity can take one’s mind off of one’s problems and help bring focus and clarity into the present moment.

Conclusion

Everyone loves a pleasant surprise. When someone is feeling especially vulnerable after a painful experience, just the pleasure of an unexpected gift can lift that individual’s spirits. “People love to receive gifts, especially if they’re not feeling well. It’s not about the money spent, but just knowing that a person cares.”

Consideration is like a balm. Caring and sharing your concern with a carefully selected present that shows how well you know that person will lift your friend’s spirits.

To feel cared for and nurtured in a concrete way after an especially painful experience is a priceless gift in and of itself, and the thoughtfulness of your present will sustain and grow the bonds of your friendship.

10 Simple Ways for Rapid Fat Loss for the New Year

Rapid Fat Loss

2017 is just around the corner, and who doesn’t want to get rid of that last piece of flab hanging near the belly just in time for the count down? Losing weight might not be easy, but there are things you can do to bring the onset of rapid fat loss just in time for the holidays, and without a lot of effort.

What most people need to understand is the fact that depriving our bodies of all the nutrition that it so obviously needs might not be the right way to reach the ‘ideal size’. And all of what you are trying to accomplish does not come with massive leaps towards weight loss, in fact, it’s actually the opposite. The only thing to remember is that baby steps can get you a lot closer to your ideal weight than anything else.

With that thought, learn about these simple ways to reach your weight goals so that your fancy old jeans can fit you just right, and just in time for the New Year.

1. A Pen is Mightier than a Sword

You know how we end up munching mindlessly till we realize that we’ve ruined all the work that was put into that tedious, gut-wrenching diet? Yeah, that’s the feeling. Writing down the amount and frequency of your portions can help you get the reality-check you so direly need. Keeping a food journal that tracks all the items you consume in a day can help you stay on track. Things like ‘I ate just 30 minutes ago’ can really help you realize whether you’re actually hungry, or just giving in to the cravings.

2. Skip, Jump, and Trot through the Commercials

Who doesn’t have a favorite TV show these days, and the best way to utilize all that sitting-around time during the commercial breaks is with a few lunges, or maybe even some skips. Anything that can get you to work up a little sweat as you wait for the mother of dragons to show up can amount to huge progress in the end. If you are going to have a 2 hour TV night in, might as well make it a productive one.

3. Limit Your Cravings for Fat

List down all your favorite high-fat and high-calorie foods and start planning a downshift. No kidding. Everyone likes candy, ice cream, potato chips, fries and cookies, but that doesn’t mean you have to survive on all of that. Try some healthy alternatives like sautéed vegetables or fresh fruits.

4. Add Tongkat Ali to Your Fitness Regime

It’s amazing what nature can do for rapid fat loss, but it’s sad that most of us barely ever find out about how we can use natural ingredients to accelerate the weight loss process. Malaysian Ginseng, or Tongkat Ali is a therapeutic herb which is often used to boost male testosterone levels, or as an aphrodisiac. The herb’s ability to act as herbal medicine is limitless, since it helps normalize the hormonal levels of the body, and keeps all your bodily functions in check. The result? A boosted metabolism that is more immune to weight gain, and a few extra pounds off the scale.

5. Add 5 Minutes to Your Daily Walk

You must indulge in some kind of strenuous physical activity for at least 30 minutes each day, but why stop there? Each time you are on your daily walk, resolute to contribute 5 extra minutes. This will help you burn 120 extra calories, and how can that ever be a bad thing?

6. Climb a Few More Flights

Stair climbing can do miracles for your weight loss, and a few extra flights of stairs can help you increase your stamina and decrease your waistline in no time. Climbing is a very effective way to target all the areas where fat generally accumulates, which makes it the easiest way to lose all that extra fat before the holidays.

7. Avoid Eating Out

The best way to cut down on calories and save thousands of dollars a year is to brown-bag it. Make your own lunches for work and try to eat in rather than giving in to the urge. Yes, that steak might look delicious now but once it is consumed and accumulated around your thighs, it isn’t so pretty anymore.

8. Don’t Juice ‘Em, Drink ‘Em!

Try skipping the juice and eat the whole fruit to get all that heart friendly fiber your system is craving for. Chewing food helps generate more saliva, which prepares your gut for digestion, while juices can be less filling, less satisfying, and can make you crave more. Try eating the apple instead of drinking it.

9. Support Goes a Long Way

Not one to exercise alone? No problem. Have a buddy to take along when you exercise. This can help you get the motivation you need to stay on track with your fitness regime, so get your friends involved and work out together.

10. Coffee, sure, but NO MILK & Sugar!

A regular cup of coffee carries a lot of calories, while on the contrary; black coffee can help you accelerate the fat burning process. Ditch the sugar too, and turn the first drink of the day into a healthy one. Coffee with milk and sugar carries as many calories as a small dessert, while black coffee actually helps burn the extra calories your body is holding on to.

With only a few simple tricks, that dream of a perfect body can turn into a reality. So don’t think too much before starting off on the right track to get in shape for the New Year.

Positive Words Research – 10 Simple Ways for Rapid Fat Loss for the New Year

8 Life Lessons from Dr. Seuss

8 Life Lessons from Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss may have done most of his influential writing in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s – but even though his most popular titles are more than 50 years old, some of the life lessons they contained still ring true today.

Dr. Seuss didn’t always just write children’s books. He studied English literature and spent his early career working on various forms of writing, including political cartoons and war posters. He felt a great sense of pride in conveying important messages, which is likely why his popular children’s books offer such influential stories.

Here are 8 life lessons you can learn from the various works of Dr. Seuss.

1. You Can Make a Difference

There’s no greater influence you can have on someone that to show them how they can personally make a difference. It’s easy to push decision aside thinking that they don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. After all, you’re just one person, right?

In The Lorax, Dr. Seuss teaches us that we can make a difference if we show that we care. He impresses on the reader that if people don’t care – people like you – nothing will ever change.

2. Be Yourself

This is a recurring theme you can find throughout his books, but nowhere is it more evident than in Happy Birthday to You!

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

You’ll find this message in many of his characters and books. He really tried to show young people that they’re original and that’s better than ok – it’s who you are, and the world needs someone just like you.

3. Look at the Brighter Side of Things

In One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, Dr. Seuss explores the complex life topic of looking for the good in everything:

“From there to here, From here to there, Funny things are everywhere.”

And

“Today is gone. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

It’s about living in the present and really exploring the positive aspects of life. It’s really easy to get caught up in the negative things, and think tomorrow will be more bleak than today. Dr. Seuss really tries to get us to think differently about today, tomorrow and every day.

4. It’s Not All About You

It’s especially difficult to get children to understand that not everything is about them. However, you see this more in adults these days than ever before. Wallowing in your own sorrow will not get you anywhere. Dr. Seuss knew this better than anyone, and made it a central theme in Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

“You ought to be shouting how lucky am I. Some people are much more, Oh, ever so much more, Oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you!”

Look outside your own bubble and you’ll see how much better you have it than a lot of people that are out there struggling. Understand what you have and be thankful for it.

5. Try New Things

If there was ever a writer that tried to push people into new and exciting ventures, it was Dr. Seuss. One read through Green Eggs and Ham and this becomes abundantly clear.

“Say! I like green eggs and ham! I do!! I like them, Sam-I-am!”

Trying new things isn’t always easy, but it’s important that you don’t dismiss them before trying them. You may even surprise yourself with the things you like. The worst part about never trying something is you may never know if you could be missing out on the best thing in the world.

6. Use Your Imagination

Creativity is abundant in the works of Dr. Seuss. He wanted children to use their imagination and know that they were capable of almost anything they can dream up.

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

That excerpt from Oh, the Thinks You Can Think really gets to the heart of the matter, even though you can find this mentality in almost any book that Dr. Seuss penned.

7. Equality for Everyone

A rather large topic for a children’s book, but Dr. Seuss hits the nail on the head in Horton Hears a Who! Complex themes like racism and prejudice were very difficult to tackle in the 50’s. In 1954 this book tackled it head on.

“Don’t give up! I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small!”

Probably one of the more powerful lessons you’ll find in his book is that everyone is equal. No one person is better than the other. He hammered this point home time and time again, while other leaders of the day were pushing for the opposite. This meant his work at the time was more important, and difficult, than ever.

8. There’s a Time for Work, and a Time for Play

There comes a time in everyone’s life where work begins. This is usually younger than most people would like. Usually beginning with chores and helping around the house, but continuing into adult life. In The King’s Stilts, Dr. Seuss expresses the importance of work and play.

“And when they played they really PLAYED. And when they worked they really WORKED.”

The important thing we’re taught here is how important play and relaxing is. In fact, it’s no accident that it comes first – before work – in the structure the doctor use here.

Writing is a very difficult career, and as this list shows, many people can’t do it all. This is why so much of what Dr. Seuss wrote is relevant today: not many can do what he did in the way he did it.

We can all learn something from the many works of Dr. Seuss. We just need to use our imagination, and revisit a book or two!

About the Author

Kerry Creaswood is a young and ambitious writer from Savannah, GA. She is fond of various forms of art and thinks that everything we can imagine is real. To find more about Kerry – check her Twitter. Image source: www.flickr.com

PS: Please comment at the end of this article and tell me what life lesson inspired you the most? And also, do you know another life lesson from Dr. Seuss? Access the list of positive words to brighten your day!

Take a look at Attitude, Presence, and Gratitude Quotes: The Importance of Being Present because everyone deserves to take a step back from everything going on in the world and live in the moment with the ones they love.