There are many standards and traditions when it comes to weddings. The dress should be white. The venue should be picturesque. The tablecloths need to go with the plates, which need to go with the flowers, which need to go with the bridesmaid dresses … The list goes on.
Getting caught up in the stress is natural when there are so many expectations, especially after you’ve spent months planning your big day. However, when the day finally arrives, it’s important to step back, take a deep breath, let go of potential mishaps, and enjoy your day.
Doing so can take quite a bit of work, but when you look back at your wedding day, you’ll remember how you felt. Though there will be a lot going on, preparing yourself to stay positive on your wedding day will ensure that you enjoy it.
Keep Your Priorities in Check
You have done all the planning. You have the perfect photographer, a conflict-free seating chart, and you’ve even hand printed the calligraphy on every invitation. You’ve personally attended to every detail, so it can be hard not to focus on them on the wedding day — but you have to stop yourself from doing that.
You can plan out down to the second, down to the smallest of details, and still, something will go wrong. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you won’t have a perfect wedding, it just means that you need to stay in the moment and let some of the mishaps slide.
To help you get through some of the moments when it’s difficult not to focus on the details, you can have a few phrases ready to help you focus on what’s important. You can try laughing at it and saying something like “c’est la vie”, or you can ignore it and go find something else to think about, like your new spouse or talking to some family members. It’s best to have a mental list of a few different phrases or options that you can turn to so that you can truly enjoy every moment.
Bridal Party Responsibilities
Even after you’ve prepared yourself for the fact that not everything will run smoothly, it’s impossible to be ignorant of any last-minute hiccups or sudden issues that come up. Yes, you should enjoy your day, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tend to these problems in some way.
You can make sure everything runs smoothly by assigning different members of the wedding party — or other trusted invitees — specific responsibilities to be in charge of. This can also make your wedding a more positive family get-together by making more people feel involved.
For example, you can assign one of your bridesmaids the job of making sure everything goes well with the catering. You can assign one of the groomsmen the job of making sure no one eats the cake before you have the first bite.
Whatever details you are worried could go wrong, assign them out to someone else so that you don’t need to worry about it on your day. Be sure to make a list of everything you can think of, assign them out, and choose one person to be the go-to for unforeseen issues so that you don’t have to worry about them.
Money Can’t Buy Everything
Unless you have that much money. Or at least a wealthy relative willing to grant your every-wedding-day desire. However, it is especially advised not to use a credit card to fund your wedding. The day should be about pronouncing your love for your new life partner and making lasting memories, not having a reception that will rival the Kardashian’s. Besides, having to pay back hundreds or thousands of dollars during your first months as a married couple can put a strain on what should be a happy time in your relationship.
Another reason to reevaluate your budget is that a higher budget may overshadow a happy marriage. The Hustle reported that couples who spend less than $1,000 on their wedding tend to have happier, lasting marriages. Of course, you should take this — and any other statistic that tries to predict future happiness — with a grain of salt.
If knowing this relieves some of the pressure you feel to have a perfect wedding, then it’s a sign that you shouldn’t worry about having an expensive, fairytale wedding. However, your wedding day is for you and your fiance, and as long as you put the health of your relationship and future happiness first, then do whatever the heck you want. Even if your new mother-in-law may not approve.
Weddings can be stressful, which is why preparing yourself mentally is just as important as buying your wedding dress. Rely on your family, focus on what’s happening in the present, and try to remain in a positive frame of mind as much as possible. With a little bit of preparation and a little bit of letting go, you can truly enjoy your wedding day.
Avery T. Phillips is a freelance human being with too much to say. She loves nature and examining human interactions with the world. Comment or tweet her @a_taylorian with any questions or suggestions.
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