Wise

Top 3 Ways Of Choosing Your Words Wisely In an Argument

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We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t argue. It’s the source of new ideas and the universal language of building and resolving our everyday issues. Arguments wage war, bring peace and uphold a sense of law and order throughout our communities. We even argue with ourselves.

Whether you love to argue, or you avoid it like the plague, you will surely encounter many more situations where you will have no choice but to stand your ground. Come equipped with common sense and a simple strategy.

1. Shut Up and Listen

I know, it hurts. You feel like everything they say is wrong. You’re just waiting for them to take a breath between words so you can interrupt, step forward, and throw your arms around to make your point louder. Instead of immediately going on the defense, try taking a step back. Put enough space between you and the other person so they can breathe, and comfortably say what they need to say. Then, let them say it — let them say all the wrong things and even nod your head and encourage them to continue.

Though it may not seem like they notice, they do. Subconsciously they feel less threatened, and they can see you acting less hostile. You might even notice the tone in their voice normalizing. Listen long enough, and they’re bound to want to hear a reply. This will give you the opportunity to be heard when it’s your turn to speak.

2. Remain Calm and Collected 

Some of the greatest arguments of all happen inside a locker room during halftime at a sports game. The players gather and blame, they point a trembling finger at anyone but themselves as an attempt to avoid the coach’s disapproval. The coach is their sagacious wizard and must conduct an effective halftime speech to each individual player to both analyze and inspire the situation as a team. This is not easy. Their job is on the line, and they realize that now is not the time to be punching lockers or strangle players. They must remain focused on the end goal.

The same rule is applied in personal situations. Keep your head steady. When it’s not, you’re more likely to say something impulsive and possibly hurtful to your argument. Remember the old adage: Think before you speak.

3. Critique the Argument, Not the Person

This still applies even if the argument has to do with you or your opponent. Don’t attack the person, address the topic. Many people feel the need to condemn their opponents and insult their intelligence. This is lousy, and what typically turns a sporty argument into a fistfight. Think of arguing as a game of chess: Always be three steps ahead of your opponent, plan out your maneuvers, and strike their defense where they least expect. Those that feel the need to critique their opponent, creating vicious ad hominem attacks, have blatantly admitted to losing the argument.

Many people want to know how to win any and all arguments as if there was some magic phrase they can hiss to make their argument more justifiable. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. You have to open your eyes to the situation and be creative because arguing is the hardest art form to master.

Logan Randall

An article that was written by Logan Randall

5 Wise Quotes From Writers For Youth To Be Empowered

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Young people need guidance. Although many of them would not admit this, they all know that having a word of advice from their parents, teachers or role models could make their lives so much easier and keep them away from mistakes that others have gone through. There are so many people who choose the wrong path in life only because they did not have the help they needed at the right time or just because they did not listen.

The human mind can be very stubborn when it clings to old perspectives and beliefs. This happens because these beliefs are susceptible to a series of cognitive biases, also known as distorted patterns of thinking. These can hinder our knowledge and learning of how the world works. Also because of these biases, we ignore useful information or advice that could make our lives easier. If we hear information that is helpful, but which does not fit into our worldview, we will reject it to keep the older belief. So instead of learning some useful and new we choose to protect our self-esteem and egos.

Sometimes, we choose not to listen from the ones around us but find words of wisdom in what we read, whether it is a book, an interview in a magazine or a quote. There are many writers who, with their words of wisdom, have changed the world for the better. Writing something powerful can motivate, inspire, change minds and lives and even change history. Writers express their ideas, thoughts, feelings and creativity giving other people a sense of usefulness and renewal for themselves and the world we live in.

There are many wise quotes from writers that we can use as a compass for our lives and from which young people could learn how to live their lives.

1. “My message, especially to young people is to have courage to think differently, courage to invent, to travel the unexplored path, courage to discover the impossible and to conquer the problems and succeed. These are great qualities that they must work towards. This is my message to the young people.” A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam or A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was the 11th President of India. He is known for his inspiring thoughts and his ideas to make India an even greater country. He encouraged young people to have the courage to think differently, to invent, to discover new things, to travel and to conquer problems. Young people should not be afraid of the new, of failing and of trying again. This is what helps them develop and gain knowledge that they can share with others.

2. “There are direct paths to a successful career. But there are plenty of indirect paths, too. So many young people I speak to nowadays think that the only way to get to such a career is the direct path, but that really only makes sense in certain circumstances.” Clayton Christensen

Clayton Magleby Christensen is an American scholar, business consultant, educator, author and religious leader. What he is trying to tell young people is that sometimes there is a direct path to reach your goal, but other times you have to struggle and overcome obstacles, to fall and then get up and keep going. No matter how hard your path might be, keep fighting.

3. “When I hear young people today complain about being bored – and the things that keep them from being bored are generally exclusively video games and/or computer pastimes – I just try to encourage them to go outside.” Nick Offerman

Nicholas “Nick” Offerman is an American actor, producer, director, screenwriter, author, musician and stand-up comedian. What he is trying to say is that young people these days have so many ways to spend their time and they still get bored. What they should do is go outside, meet new people, breathe some fresh air, do some sports and have some fun with their friends. This is so easy to do, yet more and more teenagers choose to stay in the house in front of the TV, their laptops or phones and let life pass by.

4. “I believe without a single shadow of a doubt that it is necessary for young people to learn to make choices. Learning to make right choices is the only way they will survive in an increasingly frightening world.” Lois Lowry

Lois Lowry is an American writer, who has published more than 30 children’s books. She encourages young people not to rely on the others to tell them what to do, but to learn how to make their own choices. Taking advice is very useful, but you should learn how to put it in practice and how to benefit from it. Do not wait for others to show you the direction in which to go and what to do. The world is filled with people with wrong intentions, who do not want to see you succeed. That is why you have to be independent and trust your guts.

5. “We are all creative, but by the time we are three of four years old, someone has knocked the creativity out of us. Some people shut up the kids who start to tell stories. Kids dance in their cribs, but someone will insist they sit still. By the time the creative people are ten or twelve, they want to be like everyone else.” Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou was an American memoirist, poet, and civil rights, activist. She always thought that people are creative when they are born, but this creativity fades away under the norms of the society. She tells young people to believe in themselves and be unique, to express their creativity and make it grow. Being in line with the rest of the people is not necessarily a good thing. Creativity is what sets you apart and what makes you see the world in a different perspective.

Writers were never afraid to speak their mind, that is why many of their quotes will stay true to the generations to come. They see the world is a different way, that is why writers were the ones to shape important changes all over the world.

About the author:

Samantha Anderson studies education and works as a tutor. She practices her teaching skills by writing papers for writing service WriteMyPaper.Today

Positive Words Research – 5 Wise Quotes From Writers For Youth

Quotes For Youth

Best 7 Wise Spiritual Lessons From Children To Inspire You

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Children have a very particular way to see the world. As they haven’t been through much yet, they can see it in a way that we miss when we become adults. And you probably have found yourself wondering about where the person that you were has gone.

It is true that feeling nostalgic about it isn’t productive. You won’t be a child again, no matter how hard you try it, avoiding responsibilities, for example. But there is nothing stopping you from going back to that time in your mind and waking up your inner child.

And the best thing about it is that you will be happily surprised with how it can help you to be happier and more successful in your life, as you will discover in this post. And to achieve it, all you have to do is to keep an open mind and start listening to all those wise spiritual lessons that you might get from a child without even asking for them.

1. Live the moment

Children have no concern about the future. Their minds are always here and now. They don’t worry about what they are going to be when they grow up until an adult asks them about it. And they get heartbroken when you say that they have to wait to do something another day or time, as tomorrow has no meaning for them.

2. Embrace friendship

Children love their friends. All their friends are invited to play and regarded with the same level of respect and attention. Of course, when they get a bit older, they start to favorites. But they don’t have acquaintances. They deal with friendship intensely, considering their friends as part of their family.

3. Enjoy nature

If you want to see a child happy, just take them to enjoy nature. They understand how crucial the environment is for them, and you will see very sad faces looking out the window on rainy or cold days. Children are very keen on their pets, but they will also love ladybirds, ants, and butterflies. They spend as much time as possible playing outside and embracing all that nature has to offer.

4. Always have fun

If they have toys, great. If they don’t, great too. Children know how to have fun in any circumstances, with or without the resources, alone or in a group. They learn by playing, and the “no pain, no gain” concept is something that they can’t even begin to understand. They enjoy what they are doing, and they are always up for a good time.

5. Treasure your imagination

When we become adults, we lose our ability to dream freely. We get caught with bills, jobs, and relationships, and our imagination just fades away. Children, on the other hand, have the most imaginative mind. They will create new worlds and friends just for the fun of it. They can see the world with bright ideas, and they will always have hope.

6. Speak your mind

Children will say whatever they want. They don’t have any boundaries and don’t believe that hiding what you feel is the solution for anything. They will laugh out loud if they are happy, and they will cry their lungs out if they are sad. They will never fake or pretend that they like you if they don’t. They will ask when they are in doubt, and they won’t go to bed with an unsolved situation disturbing them.

7. Make art

Every child makes art. It can be drawing, coloring, painting, dancing, sculpturing, handcrafting, playing an instrument. But, at least, one form of art will be among their favorite things to do – and usually more than one.

For some innate reason, they know that making art is good for them, that it helps them to improve themselves as a person and as a learner. And they won’t care if their work is good or not, only that they can enjoy it.

The bottom line

So here are seven wise spiritual lessons that you can learn from a child. If you bring them to your adult life, you will see that you should:

  • Appreciate the things that you have now, material and spiritual ones;
  • Give to the present the same importance that you give to the future and the past;
  • Spend as much time with nature as you can;
  • Believe that you can have fun while doing serious things;
  • Let your imagination free, even if it makes you sound naive;
  • Tell people that you love them, and not lie to them when you don’t;
  • Make some form of art despite a lack of talent.

If you only followed these rules, you will make your life much happier, and your happiness will be spread around people nearby you.

So instead of thinking about all the things that you should be teaching your children, maybe it is time for you to learn from them as well. You won’t regret it.

Spiritual lessons

About the Author

Leona-Henryson

Leona Henryson is a psychologist with a deep passion for blogging on all topics related to spiritual growth and self-improvement. Also, she works at FreeEssayWriters. To find more – check her Twitter