What You Are Telling Yourself That Is Keeping You Single

Not all of us want to be in a relationship, which is completely fine. The rest of us oscillate between loving being single and wishing we weren’t. It rocks when we are playing the field and not having to check in with anyone, but it sucks when everyone around us seems to be bursting with joy in their relationships. Sometimes we cannot help but feel a little frustrated for being single.

Our search for healthy love is one of the most defining missions of our lives

The nagging question just keeps getting louder, “Is it me?”. I wish I could tell you with all certainty that it is not you, but it just might be you. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you. I am sure you are amazing and capable of being in a fantastic relationship. But you see, most of the times, our single status has everything to do with our beliefs and attitudes.

The truth is that you hold more power over your romantic destiny that you ever thought possible. To a large extent, you create the world that you live in, consciously or unconsciously. There are a lot of bad habits that you may indulge in and things that you tell yourself that may be locking the doors to a lasting relationship:

  • I love being alone with all the freedom and creative time it affords me.
  • I do not deserve a relationship.
  • I am not good enough.
  • No one will ever love me.
  • I am not ready.
  • I have no time to date right now.
  • I cannot date a guy/girl who…..

When it comes to dating and relationships, sometimes you are your own worst enemy

What are some of the things you have told yourself that you think are sabotaging your ability to connect with potential partners?

Let us talk about the things that many of us are telling ourselves that are getting in the way of finding our soul mates.

I will date when…..

I will date when I am finished with my Ph. D.
I will date when I lose at least 10 pounds.
I will date after my career takes off.
I will date when I am ready.
I will date when I find the perfect guy/girl.
I will date when my child goes to school.

“The greatest amount of time wasted is the time not getting started.”
Dawson Trotman

There is a huge problem when you keep postponing something that is important to you. Firstly, the only time that you are guaranteed is ‘now.’ Many of us are obsessed with timing. There is no such thing as the right time. No matter what else your life involves at the moment, dating should never be wholly sidelined if you hope to get into a long-term relationship.

There are no guarantees in life, and no one can predict what the future holds. After all, life is a series of unexpected events. Indeed, you might find that life is more interesting when things do not go according to plan, rather than when everything is well choreographed. Makes life more authentic, doesn’t it?

You may think postponing dating buys you time but in reality, time will not wait for you. Right now is the perfect time to seek for your soul mate.

“Procrastination is like a credit card; it is a lot of fun until you get the bill.”            Christopher Parker

I am looking for the perfect partner

When looking for a romantic partner, we all desire certain characteristics. However, no one is perfect. I have seen people wielding a long list of attributes that they want in potential soul mates. A certain level of education, given financial status, a particular religion, no children or a certain number of children, a certain number of teeth… Just kidding. The chances are that you might not find this package in a single individual. The pursuit of perfection leads to finding fault with everyone that you meet which will only work against you.

I am looking for the perfect guy/girl today will be later turn out to be I will never truly be in love.

Worse still, some of us have very unrealistic expectations. Snap back to reality and realize that you are also not perfect. So what if the guy/girl is a little rough around the edges? So what if she talks too loudly? So what if he is a tad too dark? There is nothing wrong with setting standards, but we must keep our expectations realistic if we do not want to be alone for the rest of our lives.

Affection is when you see someone’s strengths. Love is when you accept someone’s flaws.

All the good ones are taken

It seems as if the world has been overrun by fickle men and players, shallow women and gold diggers. Apart from you, of course! Is it possible? Is it really possible that all the billions of people out there are all either married or horrible? This is the lamest excuse to not play the dating scene. Worse still, it is a self-sabotaging excuse.

Telling yourself that all the good ones are taken is giving yourself a free pass to throw in the towel and let yourself off the dating hook. You do not have to put yourself out there, after all, the good ones are taken!

Look at the flipside. Out of the billions of people in the world, you only need one person who is right for you. You need to reframe your mindset.

The perfect partner does not exist, but there is a partner who is right for you.

The sad reality is that if you go through life believing that there are no good men or women out there, you will not find any. Your mind is always inclined to look for evidence to support what you believe.

Interesting fact:
When you believe all the good ones are taken, anytime you come across one who is unavailable, you will think he is the greatest thing you have ever seen. When you come across one who is single, you will search for flaws, and you will surely find them.

Remember, our thoughts are energy; energy that radiates and attracts like experiences. Many of us miss out on finding love by holding on to lies: about ourselves, about men and women. You must realize you are what is keeping you single. Seeking love is not an easy task. The first step is to fight the patterns inside us that hold us back. We cannot shield ourselves from what we might find out there, but we can empower ourselves with the right tools for the job by cleaning up our thoughts.

About the Author

Christopher Brown

Christopher D. Brown created the website RedesigningTheMind.com

Positive Words Research – What You Are Telling Yourself That Is Keeping You Single

Time Is An Illusion: Without Memory There Is No Time

Science finally proves that time is an illusion and that without memory there is no time. Time is just memory stored in space. Our own memory is not stored in our brain, it is stored in space and our brain is just connected with that place in space.

But how does this discovery that time is an illusion impact our lives, perception of reality, and our thinking?

The scientific discovery that time is an illusion benefits me in more ways. I thought about it and I reached five conclusions that I consider will ease life and improve well-being.

1. Live in the Present

If time is an illusion, doesn’t exist and it’s just a memory, why re-living memories. And I am referring here to bad memories. The notion of forgetting and forgiving takes another form, easier. Forgetting and forgiving means just not focusing anymore on those hurting memories. Let them be, there is just a bunch of information stored somewhere in space, anyway.

2. Jump to Positivity

If time is an illusion, doesn’t exist, then there is no need for the notion of “going through time”. Therefore, there is no need for so much learning through the hard ways. You can just jump through time, and because there is no time, it actually is… jumping through memories.

You can connect to the memories of someone positive that was generous enough to share it publicly with the world, and jump into the ocean of good feelings and emotions. For example, start with this list of positive words. This list of beautiful words is also a list of positive feelings and emotions. Pick a positive word and look through the vast internet for the meaning and the articles written about it. In this way, you will actually jump in the good, nice, inspiring, and happy memories of someone else. And just like that, you are connected with 3-4 happy consciousness (memories) of 3-4 positive people. You will be happier.

3. Connect with Positive Memories

If time is memory stored not in our brain, but in space, then we can randomly connect with any positive memory that we want. We could label certain memories as happy memories and we could just draw that positive energy from our memories by focusing on the label. This is where gratitude helps us. If we label each day 2-3 things that make us happy then it will be easier for us to remember them in the future. Because when we are grateful today, we are actually labeling memories as happy memories. We are improving our future well-being and diminishing the time it takes to keep alive and even restores our happiness.

4. Release Fear of the Subconscious Mind

If time is memory stored in space, then the subconscious mind could be all these memories stored in space, by us and by everyone. This is not frightening, it is actually more relieving if you look from another point of view. Release the fear of the subconscious mind that so many people feel… and try to change with many development programs. I am not against personal development. I just want to underline the importance of what you focus on in your personal development. Ask yourself: On what energy and consciousness are you focusing? Does it make you happy? Is it fun? Do you feel love when you learn or train yourself? My opinion is that we came here on Earth to have a lot of love and fun. And when you are not feeling happy, that is a clue to do something else.

I see a lot of people working so hard to change their subconscious minds. But memory can not be changed, you can just disconnect from that memory and connect with another memory… maybe with the memory when you have gone back in time and changed your own memory. But this is not true, this is just you creating another story for yourself, another memory. The old memory is well long behind you already stored in space. Yes, this is one way to do it, to take the old hurting memory, keep it close to you but rewire it into a more empowering story. But the hurting memory will still be close to you, hurting you.

There is another way, a new way. Disconnect from the old hurting memory and live in the present. Be grateful for what happens today, for the memories you are creating today. Connect with positivity all around the world, connect with lighter and shorter ways of doing things.

5. Release Lack of Time and Regain Freedom

If time is memory, you can release time by releasing memories. Once a month I do a reflection which can be considered meditation but it’s more like a connection with the empty space. I call it the release-connect technique. I release memories, good or bad and I connect with empty space. In this way, I diminish my attachment to various memories (good or bad) and make space for new memories to unfold. You can try it also. How do I do it?

I take some moments alone and start to picture that I am a locomotive carrying a lot of wagons behind me. Then I picture myself going in space where I can float. And the wagons slowly distance themselves from me floating away from me. They are not destroyed, they just safely float away from me with all the loads and burdens that they have. I trust that they are stored by the Universe somewhere and labeled properly. Then I just imagine myself a simple locomotive floating in space, being so light and free of everything. This is how I get my complete freedom.

See what Nassim Haremein, award-winning of the Einstein 2017 prize, has to say about the fact that time is an illusion and without memory, there is no time. The link will open a short video posted by Nassim on Facebook. Click here: without memory, there is no time.

About the Author

Elena-D-Calin

Elena is passionate about positive words and she is the person behind Positive Words Research. She also likes science discoveries related to spirituality and psychology.

Find her on her Facebook profile or PWR contact form.

16 Ways You’re a Real-Life Superhero: Which Of Them Are You

Superheroes strike a larger than life figure, and it’s no wonder so many kids dream of growing up to get bit by a radioactive spider superhero. People are drawn to these mythic figures because they exude strength and a dedication to the common good. Growing up comes with the realization that universities don’t offer a degree in being Batman, and life is a lot harder than it looked from three feet off the ground. But how about real life superhero

The truth is, superheroes were created as allegories for everyday life. While they have fantastical adventures and backgrounds, the stories are an exaggerated retelling of normal life events. Spiderman getting bit by a radioactive spider is a coming-of-age story about a boy growing up to be a man. Not because of the spider bite, but in response to his uncle’s murder. That’s the real heart of every superhero tale ever told: the origin story. Without it, there would be no superheroes. Thus my positive words are real life superhero.

That’s the real reason these mythic figures stand larger than life. When the world punched them in the gut, they punched back. In this way, anyone can be a superhero simply by standing strong in the face of adversity. Here are 16 ways that people use their superpowers to fight back against the pressures of life.

16 Ways You’re a Real-Life Superhero

  1. Batman fights crime by night and runs a successful business empire by day. Anyone who works the 9 to 5 shift while volunteering their time on nights and weekends has a lot in common with good ol’ Bruce Wayne.
  2. The Hulk masters his anger and learns to channel that rage into fighting the good fight. A lot of people have anger issues. Anyone who has stood up to that, refusing to let it own their life, deserves a big green badge.
  3. Deadpool takes a hit like no other, mainly because losing a hand doesn’t mean that much when a new one grows overnight. Still, he keeps going through the darkest of times, never losing his sense of humor. People who can laugh in the face of hardship are definitely superheroes.
  4. Spiderman can climb and jump like no other, but it’s his precognitive ability to sense the danger that gives him the best advantage in a fight. It only works if he doesn’t question what he senses to be true. Self-trust and the ability to follow gut instincts is a superpower people use every day.
  5. Wonder Woman hails from a strong tribe of Amazonian women. In fact, she’s their princess. Women face adversity all the time. Meeting it with strength and grace is exactly what this Amazonian princess teaches.
  6. Daredevil’s acrobatic and gymnastics skills are all self-taught. Unlike many superheroes, he had no mentor. Self-education is a heroic act.
  7. Thor can enhance his already impressive powers by channeling cosmic energies using the Odinforce. Who would have guessed that meditating could be a superpower? How strong is the Odinforce? Just ask Captain America’s shield.
  8. Storm harnesses the powers of Mother Earth. Anytime a person finds a green alternative, Storm sends a little sunshine their way.
  9. Jessica Jones lives by her own rules, mainly because she knows what it’s like to be forced into living by another person’s. Slipping out from under the thumb of tyranny: total superpower.
  10. Iron Man’s greatest power is his technological prowess, and that’s something he has in common with a lot of people. Advanced tech skills used in the name of the greater good: definitely a superpower.
  11. Black Panther was the first mainstream African-American superhero, and he fights crime in the name of his fictional African homeland: Wakanda. This well-rounded superhero sees in the dark, which is a metaphorical representation of his ability to mastermind complex plans. Strategic planning and execution of goals, definite superpower.
  12. The Avengers are a close-knit group that works together to solve problems, much like people do every day when they collaborate to accomplish a common goal.
  13. Hawkeye is best known for his marksmanship, but it’s his leadership abilities that really make him a superhero. Team leaders, bosses, and anyone who manages a crowd draws on the same powers as this highly-skilled athlete.
  14. Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton doesn’t matter as much as his ability to track and sniff out of danger. Using intuition to make good decisions throughout the day is just another thing that brings people closer to superheroes.
  15. Captain America stands at the height of human physical perfection, and he used cheats to get there! Going to the gym at the end of every long day: that’s a superpower.
  16. Doctor Strange loses his greatest ability to a car crash, the use of his hands to heal others through surgery. From there, he goes on his own healing journey and finds his real power: sorcery. Choosing to fight against the forces of darkness instead of returning to his high-status life, he allows his darkest hour to lead him to his greatest destiny. That’s the heart of every superhero story. Anytime great misfortune makes someone stronger instead of weaker, that person becomes a superhero.

It’s not the superpowers that define the hero; it’s how they choose to use them, and how they choose to respond to the pressures of their lives. If adversity had broken them, they would be villains—and the world already has enough of those. Ability, skill and even magical powers come second to the mindset that determines how these characters respond to adversity. Perhaps that is the greatest thing they have to teach us.

power
Amanda Wilson

About the Author: Hi, I`m Amanda Wilson – student and a freelance writer at paperwritten.com. I believe that all thoughts were already invented and thought over by someone in this world. And my goal is to find original one and provide it to the modern life. Connect with me on Twitter.

Positive Words Research – 16 Ways You’re a Real-Life Superhero

TRANSFIGURATION definition and meaning | Dictionary of Positive Words

What is Transfiguration?

Definition and meaning of transfiguration:

~ a complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state. ~

The above picture is created by Serenity from PositivelyPeacefulInspirations.

Serenity has written a poem for the word transfiguration that you can find at this link: Transfiguration Through the Tender Transparency of your Tears.

Positive Words Research – TRANSFIGURATION definition – meaning | Dictionary Positive Words

Transfiguration

INEFFABILITY definition and meaning | Dictionary of Positive Words

What is Ineffability?
Definition and meaning of ineffability:
~ Too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words. ~

The above picture is created by Serenity from PositivelyPeacefulInspirations.

Serenity has written a poem about the word ineffability. You can read it at this link: Expansive Ineffability.

Positive Words Research – INEFFABILITY definition – meaning | Dictionary Positive Words

Ineffability

HALCYON definition and meaning | Dictionary of Positive Words

What is Halcyon? 

Definition and meaning of halcyon:

~ Denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful. ~

These inspiring pictures are made by Serenity from PositivelyPeacefulInspirations.

Serenity has also written a poem about what halcyon means. Find the poem at this link: Halcyon.

Positive Words Research – HALCYON definition – meaning | Dictionary Positive Words

Halcyon 2

How Do Thoughts Create Reality: Nassim Haramein Thoughts

Today I discovered this revealing scientific video about how do our thoughts create reality and I am sharing it on Positive Words Research. This is a discussion with Nassim Haramein from a “Thrive Together” event with our friends at Thrive Movement. Special thanks to HeartMath for the use of clips from their video. Here is the video How Your Thoughts Create Reality?. This video is only 2:45 minutes long but it will completely change your perspective about the power of your thoughts. My recommendation for you is to develop a habit of consciously adding positive words in your thoughts… daily if possible.

Elena D. Calin
Positive Words Research
Download my books for free: Magic Sparkles of Happiness | Leader versus Manager | Hortensio and The Magic Stories

 

Practice Your Spelling by Kari Erkkila: Inspiring Words

The idea that words have power is still new to me. I have loved playing with words to tell stories and make rhymes since I was a young girl, but it wasn’t until recently that I started to realize that words have power.  I shouldn’t be surprised. I learned in Sunday School, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1).  Words are the foundation of our reality. Everything we see in the world is a manifestation of a thought, and thoughts are made up of words. If we choose positive words, then we can create a positive world. It’s that simple.

When I came across the list from Positive Word Research, I started brainstorming all the different ways I could use the words. The first idea was inspired by the water experiment by Dr. Emoto. He discovered that consciousness can affect the molecular structure of water. Water infused with positive intention formed beautiful crystalline forms when frozen.

I started by selecting a few words from the list and writing them on a post-it note. I would stick the word on a mason jar full of water and put it out on the deck so the sun could infuse the energy of the word into the water.  I would drink the blessed water and let the positive energy electrify my veins.

Then, one evening I was sipping my infused water as I relaxed at the kitchen counter. My doodle pad, Sharpie, and word-list happen to be right next to me. I picked up the pen and started writing the words in alphabetical order. What happened next was amazing. I got in a groove and just started writing. I started playing with each word as an individual art form. I copied each word in different styles and flourishes.  It made me appreciate the nuances of each word, as if each word had it’s own flavor. I would visualize the quality of each word, and feel the feeling that each word evoked as the pen scrolled across the paper. The words became me.

God Love

It shouldn’t surprise me. Our stores are filled with adult coloring books and markers. Social media is full of articles on the meditative practice of coloring. But I found something different about doodling the words. Maybe it is because words access a different part of our brain than coloring does. Maybe it is because it is so simple, you can   do it anywhere. (All you need is a blank paper, a pen, and words. No need to tote around a hefty book, or box of colored pencils.)  Or maybe it is because the words truly do have power. And with each stroke of the pen, I am infusing my spirit with the essence of each word I write. There is something so soothing, so therapeutic, and yet so simple about just sitting down and writing the words. As a writer,  I also noticed that it is a nice break to relax and pluck the words directly from the word list. No need to stretch my brain for words.  They are already there for me to draw from. Each word is it’s own vessel of positivity.

As I write this, it feels like the words are magic. And in fact they are. A magic “spell” is the very act of using words to manifest a desire. It’s inherent in the actual word, “spell” as in to spell a word or cast a spell.  So by  “spelling” these positive words, we are casting our own positive spells. It gives new meaning to the idea of spelling practice.

I am still exploring ways to use the fabulous words found in this treasury. (Did you notice how I tried to infuse the above sentence with more positive words? Another fun way to use the word-list in everyday interactions!)

Infusing our life with a bevy of positive words, can only help us to create a positive world. I am going to call this art, “spelling practice.”  By using these words in our journals, in our conversation, in our thoughts, we are building our positivity muscles. And the more we continue to practice, the more we are infusing the world with our positive energies. The world can’t help but become a better place. Let us start practicing our spelling, and cast spells of love! Namaste.

—  Kari Erkkila

Kari Erkkila is an explorer of the world, and enjoying the process of discovering the powerful impact positive words can make in our lives. Follow me on Instagram as Skurlfriend. Facebook as Kari Erkkila, and watch for her forthcoming blog.

Hand_Written_Positive_Words

Serenity Makes You Happy and Peaceful To Enjoy Today

Serenity is a state of contentment. Contentment was named by Dalai Lama as the key ingredient for inner happiness.

But how do we attain a constant feeling of serenity?

REBT therapy invented by Albert Ellis says that, in the same time, people rationalize, experiment some emotions and have a certain behavior. Therefore, in order for you to attain a state of serenity means that you need to work on your rationalization, emotions and behavior.

Rationalization.

Rationalization means thoughts: what thoughts you have and the way you think.

To improve your thoughts Positive Words Research puts at your disposal the best list of positive words in the world. Check this list and incorporate in your vocabulary as many positive words as you can. It is scientifically discovered that a human brain thinks more than 30,000 words a day, meanings a short to medium book… this is a lot of words. Make sure some of them are positive words… and this is only for one day… just compute how many words you think in a week, or month, or year… an abundance of words. Keep your brain happy feeding him with positive words. In this way you will keep your brain serene and make sure it will not mess up your life by being a brain that thinks negatively.

The way you think, means that, you have moments when you think: while you sit on a chair, while going with the subway, while walking to work, while running, while writing, while talking with friends, while you meditate. Be aware of these moments and think about high emotional subjects only in some moments, when you have more time and energy. Try not to think important subjects of your life anywhere you go. Make a rule just not to think about consuming and stressful problems in some parts of the day, like after 9 o’clock in the evening or in the morning. This will keep a balance in your life and sustain serenity all day long. You will feel content because you will not force yourself to think intense and immediately when you have a problem. You will develop a power over your brain to make him think problems when you want not when something happens in reality. You brain will not react anymore to problems from reality, keeping your inner peace.

Emotions. 

There are emotions that help you and emotions that don’t help you. Basically intense negative emotions over a long period of time are bad and will never help you. Well-being is attained when you have constant positive emotions over a long period of time, over 6 months and maybe very short lived soft to medium negative emotions and no intense negative emotions.

Emotions are created in time and are strongly correlated with our thoughts. This is what Albert Ellis has discovered.

Abraham Hicks says that emotions are our guiding system, informing us of the packets of thoughts that we think, so that we can take notice and change our thoughts for more positive ones. Also Abraham Hicks says that thoughts are vibration. The quality of the thoughts you think matches the vibration of your body, high or low. Serenity, peace, happiness, contentment, joy are high vibrations correlated with positive thinking. You think positively when you use positive words in your thinking.

Behavior.

Thoughts, most of the time, are just internalized words. Behavior you then correlated with your words, because you tend to do what you’ve said. The, the behavior that you have, generates thoughts in your mind. Because you will think about what you do, and then rethink, over long periods of time, about what you did. The quality of your thoughts will impact your serenity.

I’ve researches the positive word Serenity in The Free Dictionary and I’ve found some interesting other positive words correlated with this word: tranquility, placidity, repose, quiet, peacefulness, peace, heart ease, calm, composure, stillness, calmness, quietness, quietude, placidity, calmness, quietude, peacefulness, untroubledness, calmness, composure, equanimity, ataraxia (peace of mind).

Serenity means serene and content thoughts, serene and content emotions, serene and content behavior. All these will give you a feeling of well-being which is happiness and peacefulness through your life.

Please excuse me for my bad English. I am not a native English speaker. I hope you understand what I’ve written. Comments are most welcome. – Elena Calin, the founder of Positive Words Research

Serenity

Your Life Journey Is A Happy Dream: Envision A Good Future

Dream a happy journey. In the real world, only a happy journey brings a happy ending.

We are not born knowing how to dream happy dreams. While living we learn how to do it. So take the responsibility and learn how to dream happy thoughts. Use this little secret: happy dreams are created with happy, positive words.

Dream a happy journey build from many happy moments, because in the real world only a happy journey brings a happy ending. In reality, a happy moment attracts another happy moment, which attracts another happy moment, and then another happy moment. Suddenly, you are surrounded by an abundance of happy moments, in only one day. And, at the end, when you think about it, you discover you had a happy life.

Also, never finish an unhappy dream. You don’t want to live the end of an unhappy dream. When you dream unhappy moments, just stop and start dreaming a new happy dream.

Stop and appreciate. When you appreciate something and you appreciate another thing, then another thing and so on… it’s like dreaming your happy dream. Live in the present and take notice of your blessings by being grateful, content. The journey of your life that you always wanted to go through, is a happy dream.

Dream it and Live it !

Happy Dream