Perfectionism Ruins Your Life: 7 Tips to Overcome It Now

Why can’t my skin be perfect? I’m doing my best, but what if my boss hates the project? I will win this thing!

If you dig deep enough, you’ll recognize some aspects of perfectionism deep within.

Everyone has faced the challenge of wanting to be better than anyone else. Being better than we already are is a good aspiration. But that’s not enough for us. We strive to perfection, and that’s when the problems begin.

The strive for improvement is an absolute necessity in life. It pushes you to learn more, try harder, and make progress. However, when this strive turns into perfectionism, it’s a reflection of your big ego. It makes you constantly unsatisfied with the things you achieve.

Have you ever had to deal with a perfectionist? Maybe a partner, a boss, or a parent? How impossible was it to make them happy with your achievements? Why would you impose such high expectations on yourself?

Perfectionism can really ruin your life. Daniel Winslet, a team leader from Best Essays, sees that from a student’s point of view: “Do you know how many students are striving to make their perfectionist parents happy? Too many. Since they are so used to being pushed, they start imposing impossible expectations to themselves. Although they can write well, they are not confident in their abilities. They hire professional writers even when there’s no need for that. A perfectionist doesn’t recognize the it’s good enough limit. That complicates their lives to a great extent.”

Is there a way to control this state of being? Yes. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. We’ll list 7 tips to help you with that.

1. Appreciate the Journey

Winning at something is easy to celebrate, right? But the moment when you meet a goal is not the only one worthy of a celebration. All small steps that get you there are important. Pay attention to the progress, no matter how insignificant it seems. This will teach you that every move forward is important. You’ll still keep an eye on the goal, but you’ll understand that the wider perspective is what matters.

2. Understand the Value of Mistakes

When you look at the photos of popular Instagram yogis, you’re mesmerized with their power and grace. That’s because they show you the final result of a long process of making effort. Throughout that process, they fell down from a handstand countless times. They went through misalignments and pain. They are still not perfect. No one ever is.

Don’t let mistakes stop you from working further. Acknowledge their value. They teach you lessons. When you correct a mistake, you’re getting a lot better at what you do.

3. Don’t Turn Ideals into Absolutes

Everyone has ideals. A perfectionist translates them into goals. If a perfectionist is a writer, they want to be the next Dostoevsky. When they write something, they don’t believe it’s good enough for that ideal. So they don’t bother publishing it.

Turn your ideals into guidelines; not absolutes.

4. Don’t Rush with Your Judgments

Growth is a process. Goal-achieving is a process. Overnight success? There’s no such thing.

Let’s say you start a YouTube channel and you want to make it a huge success. Chances are, you won’t achieve that with a single video. You’ll have to keep working and engaging your audience. Each day, you’ll be attracting more viewers.

If you get disappointed after the first video because it doesn’t get you millions of views, you won’t continue doing this. If you keep going, you’ll reach the millions at one point.

Do not judge your achievements too soon! Let the process take its time.

5. Avoid the Comparison Trap

Why is it called a comparison trap? – Because comparing yourself to other people traps you in a place of constant disapproval. You feel like you’re never good enough, since there’s always someone accomplishing more. This behavior is harmful.

You can compare yourself only to yourself. Think about where you are at this moment. Envision where you want to be. Pay attention to the progress and that will be good enough.

6. Acknowledge Your Uniqueness

You can’t be someone else. You can’t meet other people’s expectations? That’s okay. It’s more important to find out who you want to become.

You’re a unique individual with special preferences. Your attempt to be perfect in the eyes of other people gets in the way of achieving your unique potential.

7. Stay in the Now

Perfectionists constantly think about a more successful future. That’s not a bad thing, as long as it doesn’t take you away from the present moment. Do not keep your focus on the goals all the time. You can envision a better future for yourself, but perceive it as the growth you’ll achieve starting from this moment.

Staying in the present moment is not just a random mindfulness technique everyone is talking about. It’s wisdom. It works.

Will you sacrifice your happiness to perfectionism? Of course not! You’re already great. You can become better, but you shouldn’t be unhappy if you don’t become perfect. Each step forward is important, no matter how insignificant it seems.

Author’s Bio

Joan Selby is a life coach, a writer at Writerzone.net and a blogger; a graduate of California Institute of the Arts and a fancy-shoe lover; a writer by day and reader by night, giving a creative touch to everything. Find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Here at Positive Words Research, we are looking to share with our readers original content that hasn’t been published on other sites so if you are comfortable with Positive Words Research being your sole publisher, we are more than happy to share with our readers your inspiring and empowering story.

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8 Yoga Asanas Rise and Shine Morning Yoga Meditation

Rise and shine: The Beginner’s Guide to Yoga Morning Asanas for More Energy

The English proverb “The early bird catches the worm” may have been referring to people that prepare in advance, but it is also true in a literal sense.

Studies show that “morning” people are healthier, happier, and more productive. A morning person has no trouble hopping out of bed before 7 am and facing the day with a smile. If you are among the snooze-hitting tribe and drag yourself grumpily out of bed in the morning, there is an easy solution.

While you can do yoga at any time of the day, there are specific asanas (literally meaning, “to be seated in a position that is firm, but relaxed”) that can turn the clock around for you. If you are like most night owls, your body probably feels heavy and aches all over.

These asanas will wake up your body, lighten your mood, and give you the energy you need to get through the day with more grace.

1. Crossed legs posture (Sukhasana)Crossed legs (Sukhasana) yoga asanas

Picture source!

This is probably the easiest, and most familiar, pose in yoga.

Sitting with your back straight, pelvis in a neutral position, and bring up your knees on either side of the body, tucking your feet under the opposite leg. You should see a triangular space between your legs and pelvis. Rest your hands on your knees.  Do the Dirga or yogic breath for three to five minutes. 

2. Mountain Pose (Tadasana)

Mountain Pose (Tadasana) meditation

Witold Fitz-Simon – Picture source!  

Exhale, and as you do so, straighten up, arms on your sides in a relaxed position.

Repeat the sequence; only substitute the right leg for the left leg.  Do at least one full cycle of the sun salutations every morning, more if you have the time.  This works all seven major centers (chakras) of the body, so you should be rearing to go (and hungry) when you’re done! 

3. Hand to Foot pose (Hasta Padasana) 

Hand to Foot pose (Hasta Padasana)

Picture source!

As you exhale, bring the arms and body forward, aiming to bring the palms flat on the floor on either side of your feet and your face to your knees. You may bend your knees a little to get your palms to the floor, as you will need them there for support for the next steps. 

4. Prayer pose (Pranamasana)Prayer pose (Pranamasana)

Picture source!

Stand with your feet together, shoulders relaxed. Breathe in to expand your chest, and as you do so, bring up your arms to your sides. Breathe out slowly, and as you do so, bring your hands together as if in prayer. 

5. Raised Arms pose (Hasta Uttanasana)Raised Arms pose (Hasta Uttanasana)

Picture source!

As you inhale, bring your hands up straight above your head and reach up as far as you can go, looking up and curving your body slightly to get the full stretch. The aim is to get the maximum stretch from the heel to the fingertips.

6. Sun salutations (Surya Namaskar)Sun salutations (Surya Namaskar)

Picture source!

It is time to get out of bed (if you haven’t already) and say hello to the day. Salutes to the sun are a sequence of 12 poses that wakes up the body and fills it with energy.  It is important to observe the breathing directions as you do each one. It will take a little practice, but you will soon get into the swing of it.

7. Two-knee spinal twist (Supta Matsyendrasana)Two-knee spinal twist (Supta Matsyendrasana)

Picture source!

Lying flat on your back, arms stretched on either side, bring both knees to one side. Slowly extend the inner leg out while keeping your upper back flat on the surface.  Hold this for a few second, then draw your knees back together. Go to the other side and do the same thing.

Do the whole sequence two or three more times. This will stretch and relax your spine, chest, shoulders and thighs, and ease muscle pain. It also wakes up your internal organs, including your abdominals for better digestion. 

8. Reclining bound angle pose (Supta Baddha Konasana)

Reclining bound angle pose (Supta Baddha Konasana)

Picture source!

Lying flat on your back, bring your knees up, feet together. Let your thighs open naturally, and relax. You can use pillows or foam blocks to support your knees. This will help you avoid putting too much strain on your back and inner thighs. Now comes the important part – breathing.

Use the Three-Part Breath or Dirgha. This is one of the foundations of yogic breathing, and you have to practice it consciously. You will inhale air to fill your lung, lower chest (diaphragm), and abdomen to capacity in that order, hold it, and then exhale in reverse order: abdomen, chest, lungs.

Do these several times, with the inhale count at four, and exhale count at six. This will decrease your levels of stress and anxiety, although it may make you feel a little lightheaded at first from all the oxygen you’re getting. Don’t worry, you will get used to it. Do this for three to five minutes.
These simple morning yoga exercises are suitable even for beginners. More importantly, they will definitely help night owls get the energy they need for the day. Try them out and share your experience with us!

Author bio:

Stacey Marone is traveler, yoga lover and contributor for https://essays.scholaradvisor.com/coursework/. She is an enthusiastic yoga advocate. You can connect with her on Twitter.

Positive Words Research – Yoga Asanas Rise and Shine Morning Yoga Meditation