Why Kind Words Matter For Your Thinking and Emotions

To say life is busy is an understatement. In between work and family demands, there are probably days when you forget to mind your manners. The thing is, if you’re a parent, it’s important to teach your children the value of both positivity and kindness. But when it comes to teaching them which words to use, not to mention when, you might wonder when the time is right. Below are a few great ways to start teaching your kids the importance of being nice to others.

The Importance of Kindness

While we all know how important it is to treat people with love, we don’t always do our best to do so. Maybe you were too busy with work and didn’t notice that colleague who wasn’t feeling their best. Alternatively, maybe you were having financial struggles and weren’t sure if you could afford it. You might have snapped at your spouse or child. They walked away hurt, not knowing how to tell you. Then, as you sat thinking there was no hope, you had an idea. You could apply for scholarships online.

So, you did a quick search and found a site where you could input your info and be matched with a variety of different scholarships and grants. Immediately, you saw the answer. It was Going Merry scholarships, exactly what you needed to get the ball rolling. Think about how not using kindness affected your family. When things aren’t going right, it’s easy to forget how important it is to be kind. After all, you’re angry and you need to let it out. But once you felt better, you didn’t realize how your words impacted others. That’s where the issues lie.

How Words Hurt

When we say words hurt, we’re not talking about curse words. After all, those are a given and should never be used towards loved ones. However, there are other words you should stop using that can cause just as much damage as well. Making snide statements, criticizing and insulting people can be devastating to those on the receiving end. Even if you feel genuinely sorry, you also need to figure out why you said hurtful things to people you care about.

If you and your spouse were having an argument and you lost your temper, maybe you said something hurtful about their weight. That statement not only made him feel embarrassed, but he also felt unwanted. The impact of hurtful words lasts longer than you think. It’s not uncommon for resentment to build up over time. Then, even if it’s only a minor disagreement, those same hurt feelings and harsh words reappear, possibly putting a wedge between you and your spouse.

Communication Styles

Everyone has their own style of communication. Some people like to hash things through while others like to take time for themselves, think about the issue and then return to the conversation. Regardless of your communication style, you need to find ways to approach even hot button topics with kindness. If you’re upset that your teenager broke a vase, what do you do? You could yell and call them careless. While it may feel like it’s warranted, you still need to lead with love. The better solution would be to tell them that while you are quite angry, and really don’t want to hear excuses, you do understand that it was an accident. This type of communication lets them know how you feel without making them feel even worse than they already do.

The Power of Kindness

You never really know what someone is going through. Even if they seem happy, they could be hiding their true feelings. That said, being kind can literally change someone’s outlook. In fact, something as innocuous as thank you or please, can put a smile on someone’s face. When we use kind words, it shows the other person that they’re important to you. Positivity is also contagious, so once you start sharing kindness, it has a rippling effect. Others will want to pass it on as well.

Practice What You Preach

As funny as it might sound, kindness takes practice. That’s not to say you’re not a genuinely nice person, however, it’s not always easy to put on a happy face. Life can be hard, and you might not want to go out of your way to be extra nice. But you know what? When you’re feeling down or even angry, a little bit of kindness can change your entire mood. Just like kind words can make someone feel happy, being kind can make you feel better too. This is a great way to practice self-care at home that will translate to the other areas of your life. The best way to get into the kindness habit is by setting goals. Every day, tell at least one person something nice. Whether it’s a compliment or a sincere thank you, it will eventually become second nature.

Author: Drew Allen is a financial enthusiast, seasoned blogger, music and sports fanatic. He enjoys spending time outdoors with his wife and daughter fishing and boating. He is dedicated to his 20+ year career in the banking, mortgage, and personal finance industry.

Drew Allen

Be Kind to Each Other: 10 Inspiring Acts of Kindness To Do

Surely, many of us are tired of the selfishness of others, and from the endless series of atrocities that are happening in the world. The news that we hear daily, sometimes make us seriously doubt that a person is generally able to care for someone else except himself. Nevertheless, everything is not so bad. Here to your attention: 10 inspirational acts of kindness and human compassion.

1. The work of Mother Teresa

In 1999, on the eve of the new millennium, during the voting, the Americans recognized Mother Teresa as the most respected woman of the century. According to a survey conducted by CNN, she is admired more than Martin Luther King, John Kennedy, Albert Einstein and Helen Keller.

What makes her special? Her acts of kindness

Mother Teresa, nee Anez Gonzhe Boyadzhiu and named Angel of Mercy, was a missionary and a nun of the Roman Catholic Church. She dedicated her whole life to helping other people. Today, when people think of saints, they usually remember Mother Teresa.

In 1950, Mother Teresa founded the Order of the Missionaries of Mercy. The main task was to take care of the sick, homeless and helpless. In 1979, it was suggested that the reputation and sanctity of Mother Teresa may be somewhat exaggerated. She really dedicated her life to helping people doing random acts of kindness. Though, her homes for the dying sometimes could offer nothing but prayer for the relief of suffering.

Mother Teresa died in 1997.

2. “Linus Project”

The “Linus Project” is a non-profit organization. It distributes conventional and quilted home blankets to sick or injured infants, children, and adolescents in hospitals, shelters, social service organizations and charitable organizations. The goal is simple: to give people a sense of security and comfort when they need it most.

The Linus project in each state has local leaders, and there are volunteers, the so-called “blanketeers”. Their acts of kindness are not great, but inspiring a lot.

For example, in Fayette County, Georgia, volunteers have been sewn, hooked, and then distributed 1155 blankets to provincial children since 2010.  In 2012 they sent 147 hand-sewn blankets to children affected by Hurricane Sandy.

3. “Anti-protests”, caused by the Church of Westborough

The Westborough Baptist Church (WBC) is mostly known for its anti-gay performances. More representatives of this church are often seen at various high-profile military funerals. They arrange pickets there, holding banners in their hands with different calling slogans.

One can only imagine what began when this very ambiguous church suddenly announced that their protests are nothing more than an attempt to stir up the public.

Students at Vassar College found out that the Westborough Church was going to hold a picket at their campus. As they were loyal to representatives of the LGBT community, they immediately organized a counter-protest.

Other “anti-protesters” from the Angel Action organization brought three-meter angel wings with them and hid the representatives of the church from the sight of others. Another group, the Patriot Guard Riders, also used “non-violent means of protection” – shields. Therefore they did not allow representatives of the church to hold a picket at the next military funeral.

4. “Bikers against child abuse”

“Bikers against child abuse” (or BACA) is another non-profit organization. Since 1995, they have been working to protect children from violence and to raise public awareness of the violence against children. Their goal was to ensure the kids who have been physical, emotionally or physically abused, no longer to be afraid of being injured. Because the absence of fear is an important step on the path to healing. The group also helps to fund therapy and therapeutic activities.

Volunteer bikers from this organization strive to ensure that children feel safe. They also try to help in situations where law enforcement officers, employees of childcare agencies, and other people abuse children cruelly.
By that, they perform wonderful acts of kindness.

Would not you feel safe if you had a big crowd of guys on the Harleys on your side?

5. The work of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

The work of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is not only one of the great acts of kindness, but also a dramatic act of charity.

By 2011, Bill and Melinda Gates had already transferred 28 billion dollars to the Fund (that is, more than a third of their fortune).

The fund, for example, has allocated $112 million to the Save the Children organization to help newborns in various “at-risk” groups and 456 million MVI organizations developing new vaccines against malaria.

6. Pope John Paul II forgave his potential killer

A murderer from Turkey named Mehmet Ali Agca has three times shot at Pope John Paul II on St. Peter’s Square in the Vatican. It happened on May 13, 1981. One bullet jumped off the index finger of the Pope and hit him in the stomach. Another touched his right elbow. Later, John Paul II says that he survived only thanks to the divine intervention of the Virgin Mary.

May 17, 1981, just four days after the assassination attempt, the pontiff publicly forgave Agca. He said that he forgave him when he was taken to the hospital in the ambulance. Moreover, in 1983, the Pope visited Agca in prison, where he served his 19-year sentence. During this meeting, John Paul II took his potential assassin by the hand, and forgave him, this time looking into his eyes.

7. Nelson Mandela invites his jailer to his inauguration

Nelson Mandela was convicted of sabotage during apartheid in South Africa, after which he spent 27 years in prison on Robben Island.

When in 1990 he finally got out, he had no desire to take revenge on his former jailers. Moreover, one of them he invited to his presidential inauguration, held in the1994 year. A white man named Christo Brand was invited to the 20-year anniversary of the release of Nelson Mandela. Another jailer, James Gregory, also told a lot about his friendship with the famous political prisoner.

8. Ivan Fernandez Anaya deliberately loses to Abel Mutai

Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was in the lead in the cross, which was held in the Spanish Navarre in the December 2012 year. The runner thought he had already crossed the finish line, in fact, it was about 10 meters before it.

The Spanish runner, Ivan Fernandez Anaya, who claimed second place, could have taken gold, but he did not. Instead, Fernandez Anaya caught up with Mutai and gestured for him to finish first. Later, Fernandez Anaya said that he did not deserve the first place, and preferred honesty to victory.

9. Time-sparing possibilities for students

People, who devote their lives to education, in most of the occasions are limited in time.

When you are young, the world tries to give you a lot of different possibilities and magic moments to tell about in old age. In other words, it is a crime to waste the precious time only on the studying. Programmers and professional writers know how to fix this problem; they have invented special websites, like Edu Birdie that give the fast writing help. Everyone may use them if one feels the necessity.

10. The Christmas Truce

By December 1914, the First World War had already claimed almost a million lives, but for one day – Christmas, a truce was established between British and German soldiers.

The truth of the story is not confirmed still, and how much its details are exaggerated. The British soldiers in the trenches on the front suddenly heard a familiar motive coming from the German trenches that were nearby.
It was “Silent Night” (English “Silent Night”), with which the unauthorized fraternization between the enemies began.

During the Christmas truce, there were no shots or explosions. Soldiers, who were tired of the war, simply shook hands, and then shared cigarettes and threw canned food throughout the Western Front.

Author’s Bio

Helen is a prolific writer who inspires other people to find their predestination in life. Her life motto is, ‘Do what you care for, love what you carry out.’
She also believes that each individual on the planet has special expertise, and the only complication is to be open in order to see this talent in its full volume.

Here at Positive Words Research, we are looking to share with our readers original content that hasn’t been published on other sites so if you are comfortable with Positive Words Research being your sole publisher, we are more than happy to share with our readers your inspiring and empowering story. 

acts of kindness

This Week’s Positive Word is KINDNESS: Being Kind Is Love

This week’s positive word is

KINDNESS

Kindness is a characteristic that should be integrated into your life without a second thought.

Kindness leads directly to gratitude, appreciation, happiness, and love. Being kind to someone can benefit you just as much as it benefits them.

There is actually scientific research that shows the benefits of being kind.

You can see the range of research here at Think Kindness

It’s true … it doesn’t actually cost anything to be kind! From a smile in the street to letting someone in front of you in a queue or giving up your seat on the bus. Simple but effective acts of kindness that will be integrated into your life and make you a happier person.

So here are five simple ways you can be kind today:

  1. Ask yourself which friend could do with your help? Even a simple text to ask how they are doing, tell them you are thinking about them, can truly lift their day.
  2. Do you have lots of clothes hanging in your wardrobe that need to be cleared out? Do it now! Donate to charity! In fact, go that one step further and give away an item that you love!
  3. When you’re out and about today, compliment someone … never underestimate how much they will need it.
  4. Hide notes of encouragement to your spouse, partner, family members, children, friends … whoever in your life needs it. Maybe they don’t need it, but it will show them how much you care and will boost their day.
  5. Visit someone who needs company; care homes and hospitals are the perfect places to spread kindness. You’ll be amazed at how many people don’t have visitors, so make a difference in their lives.

These five ideas are just the tip of the kindness boat … there are plenty of ways to show kindness and reap the benefits in the process. Remember, you can’t fail by being kind, as any kindness given is never wasted.

If you read my blog posts regularly on Positive Words Research, you’ll know that we have certain house rules in our home, and one of them is as follows:

Positive Words Research – This Week’s Positive Word is KINDNESS

kindness

Top 5 Unusual Ways How to Stay Positive Forever From Now

Positivity is so important. It means less medical problems, a longer life and – most obviously but still most importantly – that you are happier. The thing is, how do you actually become more positive? That’s the 10,000 dollar question, isn’t it?

So that’s what we’re going to look into today. Five unusual ways for you to stay positive and keep the misery at bay.

1. Work on your mental resilience

The opposite of depression, according to Peter Kramer, isn’t happiness. It’s mental fortitude. So if you want to be able to stay positive, make sure that’s what you work on. How do you do that?

  • Sleep enough. Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the happiest things that we can do. What’s more, when we get enough sleep we make certain that we’re far less likely to ruminate and will be far quicker to switch away from negative thought.
  • Eat well. Stay away from processed foods, sugars, and alcohol. Instead, aim at eating plenty of the omage-3, protein, as well as whole grains, beans, potatoes, vegetables and other minerals. Stock up on vitamins in the B C, D, and E range.
  • Exercice. I don’t really need to tell you that, do I?
  • Practice mindfulness. Really. Do. Mindfulness makes you better able to step away from negative emotions. So make sure you spend more time being aware of who you are and that you are not your thoughts and emotions.

2. Give

Did you know that giving makes the giver happier than the receiver? That’s right. So, become more generous with your time and your money and you’ll find your life becoming most positive – both because you are giving and because you are sure to feel valued.

Start with what I call ‘random acts of kindness ’. Help somebody in the grocery line. Give a big bill to a particularly good street musician (the arts need to get sustained after all), help out at a school, a charity or a church. It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you do it. Make both yourself and the world more positive.

3. Realize positivity is internal

We often get so obsessed with the world outside of our heads that we forget that happiness and positivity are only a matter of how we perceive the world. So make more time to work on that perception.

That means, taking ‘you’ time where you shut out the outside world through such practices as yoga or meditation or gratitude writing. So do not worry if you cannot – it is what you get from it, not what you put on paper and focus on your mental landscape.

It also means learning that how the outside world affects your inner harmony is largely a matter of perception.

For example, if during a bank robbery you get shot in the shoulder you could see that as an example of bad luck (you got shot) or of good luck (you didn’t get killed). The former will make the experience negative.  The latter will make it positive. Which one you choose to accept as your perception of the events as they transpired will decide how you view that event.

4. Focus on experiences rather than things

Money on time spent on experience have more bang for their buck than the same money spent on things. So, don’t buy a new couch when you’ve got one that’s perfectly alright. Instead, go on a holiday with the family.

Sure, you might think that the holiday will mean the money is gone and the couch will stick around for a very long time indeed, but is that actually accurate? After all, a lot of our lives are lived through our memories and a good memory can be incredibly valuable, both in terms of how you see the world as well as your relationships with – for example – your family.

The good will and good memories that you create during experiences can last a long time, far beyond when you’ve gotten used to the new couch and no longer really pay attention to it.

5. Realize the difference between status and happiness

A lot of the time when we think we’re pursuing happiness – like when we try to get a better job, get that new car, or buy a bigger house – we’re actually pursuing status. Now, don’t misunderstand, status has its uses. People with high status can get a lot of things done and can get people to do a lot of things for them.

Still, they are not the same thing and it is important that you realize when you’re pursuing one or the other. How do you know? It’s quite easy. When the underlying motivation is to impress others and the main route to happiness is other people’s appraisal of you, then you’re pursuing status.

If on the other hand, it’s just about how you feel about yourself, then it’s a matter of happiness.

Being able to differentiate between these two will mean that you can choose when you’re going to pursue your own positivity and when you’re just trying to get a leg up on the people around you.

Why is this important? Because status is a zero sum game. That means that when you gain status, the people around you have to drop in the regard of others. And that makes sense, after all, we’re all competing for the same mental real estate.

Happiness, on the other hand, is not zero sum. When I’m happier, you don’t need to be less happy. We can both be happier together. So, in the long run focusing on making ourselves and those people around us happier rather than higher status will create far more positivity. And that has to be what it’s all about, doesn’t it?

Last words

Positivity is a state of mind. Sure, that might sound banal, but that doesn’t make it less true. For that reason, the best place to seek positivity is within yourself, rather than in the world around you. That doesn’t mean the world around you doesn’t matter, but it matters far less than you might realize.

That’s why some monks – who live a life of abstinence and self-denial – are far more positive than the average person in society will ever be. They’ve realized that it’s all about having the right outlook in life and rather than focusing on having more, they focus on feeling more.

If you can embrace that, then nobody will ever be able to take the positivity and happiness away from you again.

dante-munnis

Dante Munnis is a content manager and contributor on editius.com, who is interested in self-development, web related topics, and success issues.

He shares ideas for students living a better life and building habits that stick.

You can get in touch with Dan via Twitter.

Positive Words Research – 5 Unusual Ways How to Stay Positive Forever