Choosing Your Words Wisely In an Argument

 

Choosing Words Wisely

Choosing Your Words Wisely In an Argument

We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t argue. It’s the source of new ideas, and the universal language of building and resolving our everyday issues. Arguments wage war, bring peace, and uphold a sense of law and order throughout our communities. We even argue with ourselves.

 

Whether you love to argue, or you avoid it like the plague, you will surely encounter many more situations where you will have no choice but to stand your ground. Come equipped with common sense and a simple strategy.

 

Shut Up and Listen

 

I know, it hurts. You feel like everything they say is wrong. You’re just waiting for them to take a breath between words so you can interrupt, step forward, and throw your arms around to make your point louder. Instead of immediately going on the defense, try taking a step back. Put enough space between you and the other person so they can breathe, and comfortably say what they need to say. Then, let them say it — let them say all the wrong things and even nod your head and encourage them to continue.

 

Though it may not seem like they notice, they do. Subconsciously they feel less threatened, and they can see you acting less hostile. You might even notice the tone in their voice normalizing. Listen long enough, and they’re bound to want to hear a reply. This will give you the opportunity to be heard when it’s your turn to speak.

 

Remain Calm and Collected

 

Some of the greatest arguments of all happen inside a locker room during halftime at a sports game. The players gather and blame, they point a trembling finger at anyone but themselves as an attempt to avoid the coach’s disapproval. The coach is their sagacious wizard, and must conduct an effective halftime speech to each individual player to both analyze and inspire the situation as a team. This is not easy. Their job is on the line, and they realize that now is not the time to be punching lockers or strangling players. They must remain focused on the end goal.

 

The same rule is applied in personal situations. Keep your head steady. When it’s not, you’re more likely to say something impulsive and possibly hurtful to your argument. Remember the old adage: Think before you speak.

 

Critique the Argument, Not the Person

 

This still applies even if the argument has to do with you or your opponent. Don’t attack the person, address the topic. Many people feel the need to condemn their opponent, and insult their intelligence. This is lousy, and what typically turns a sporty argument into a fist fight. Think of arguing as a game of chess: Always be three steps ahead of your opponent, plan out your maneuvers, and strike their defense where they least expect. Those that feel the need to critique their opponent, creating vicious ad hominem attacks, have blatantly admitted to losing the argument.

 

Many people want to know how to win any and all arguments, as if there was some magic phrase they can hiss to make their argument more justifiable. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. You have to open your eyes to the situation and be creative, because arguing is the hardest art form to master.

 

An article written by Logan Randall

Logan Randall

Secrets of a Long-Lasting Happy Love Relationship

love-relationship

The secrets of long-lasting happy relationships are:

  1. Building a climate of practicing kindness, generosity, friendship, joy, love, trust & intimacy;
  2. Honoring the “bids” meaning the requests for connection, requests for a response, sign of interest and support, when hoping to connect, however momentary;
  3. Responding to “bids” by turning toward the partner;
  4. The partner recognizes the “bid” and respects that by engaging, showing interest & support;
  5. Each partner meets their partner momentary emotional need;
  6. Scanning environment for things they can appreciate and can say thank you for;
  7. Building a culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully;
  8. Scanning the partner for what the partner is doing right;
  9. Managing not to miss more than 50 percent of positive things their partners are doing;
  10. Responding to “bids” by showing they are there, showing to the partner that he or she is valued;
  11. Kindness glues the couple together;
  12. They build an environment of kindness and emotional stability;
  13. They show each other through kindness that each partner is cared for, understood, and validated—feels loved;
  14. They know and act upon the knowledge that ” when someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship”;
  15. The partners consider kindness as a muscle. They exercise this muscle to keep it in shape;
  16. Partners know that good relationship requires sustained hard work;
  17. They treasure the development and expression of a generous spirit. They express this generous spirit a lot and let it come in when a partner makes a bid so that they can turn toward their partner;
  18. They enhance small moments of emotional connection and therefore constantly gently empowering the relationship;
  19. The partners practice kindness in hard times and during a fight—they consider that this is the most important time to be kind;
  20. The partners express negative emotions in a kind way;
  21. The partners consider that if you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, exercise kindness early and often and built kindness into the very backbone of a relationship;
  22. The partners practice kindness by being generous about partner’s intentions;
  23. The partners practice having an ability to kindly interpret partner’s actions and intentions charitably and they soften the sharp edge of conflict.
  24. Partners appreciate the intent of the other partner to do the things right even if they have executed it poorly;
  25. Partners practice another powerful kindness strategy revolved around shared joy.
  26. Partners show that they are there for each other when things go right. They think shared joy is actually more important for relationship quality. They respond with joy to the partner’s good news.
  27. Finally, there’s active constructive responding. If her partner responded in this way, he stopped what he was doing and engaged wholeheartedly with her: “That’s great! Congratulations! When did you find out? Did they call you? What classes will you take the first semester?”

“Active constructive responding is the kindest. Active constructive responding allows the partner to savor her joy and gives the couple an opportunity to bond over the good news. In the parlance of the Gottmans, active constructive responding is a way of “turning toward” your partners bid (sharing the good news). Active constructive responding is critical for healthy relationships. Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together. The spirit of kindness and generosity guides them forward.

Active constructive responding is critical for healthy relationships. Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together. The spirit of kindness and generosity guides them forward.”

The secret of a long-lasting happy relationship, proved by science, is that a lasting relationship comes down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity.

Source of the article: 1 and picture: 2

Positive Words that Activates Feminine and Masculine Energy

Masculine Feminine Energy
Source of the picture: http://howtoraiseyourvibration.blogspot.ro/

Find below a list of positive words that activates feminine and masculine energy.

Feminine words that activates feminine energy

EASE, PERMISSION, KINDNESS, APPRECIATION *, CARING, UNDERSTANDING, RESPECT, DEVOTION, VALIDATION, REASSURANCE, RESPECTFUL, LOVE, COMMUNICATION, BEAUTY, RELATIONSHIPS, HELPING, SHARING, RELATING, HARMONY, COMMUNITY, TALKING, OPEN, INTIMATE, LIFE, HEALING, GROWTH, INTUITIVE, COMPANIONSHIP, RECEIVE – RECEIVING, CHERISHED, CREATIVITY, REASSURANCE, WORTHY, SUPPORTED – SUPPORTING, NURTURE – NURTURING – NURTURED, PRIZE, FEEL, EMOTION

Feminine phrases: quality of relationships, share personal feelings, I like me, nurturing feelings, loving cooperation, sharing needs, providing information, making a request.

Masculine words that activates masculine energy

CAPABLE, CERTAIN, FOCUS, BENEFIT, TRUST – TRUSTING, ACCEPTANCE – ACCEPTING, APPRECIATIVE – APPRECIATION*, ADMIRE – ADMIRATION, APPROVAL, ENCOURAGEMENT, POWER, STRENGHT, COMPETENCY – COMPETENCE, EFFICIENT – EFFICIENCY, ACHIEVEMENT, HONOR, PRIDE, DIGNITY, SOLUTION – SOLUTIONS, SUCCESS, SKILLS, AUTONOMY, LOVE, SERVE, SUPPORT, GIVE – GIVING, PROVIDE, DEVOTED, FULFILL, CARETAKER, SPACE, USEFUL, RATIONAL, STRATEGY – STRATEGIC, PLAN – PLANNING, ANALYTIC – ANALYTICAL, REASONABLE, CONSIDER, ANALYSE – ANALYSING, BELIEVE, OPINION, SUGGESTION, THINK

Masculine phrases: prove themselves, achieve results, feel good about himself, doing things by himself, loving acceptance, feeling needed, someone to serve, good enough, fulfill others, silent acceptance, comforting love, common sense, point of view

* Appreciation and Love are included both at feminine and masculine energy, because based on researches I found the positive words in both feminine and masculine. According to me, appreciation is more masculine, meaning the masculine needs more appreciation than the feminine.

25 Loving Words To Say To Your Kids – Positive Parenting

This is an awesome video about positive parenting on how to sustain and improve the relationships with have with our children through loving words.

The video is made by Knight Stavern.

Transcript of the video 25 Loving Words To Say To Your Kids – Positive Parenting

Kids need a safe, secure environment with adults who love and care for them in order to build strong self-esteem. Not only do you need to show your children your love, you also need to tell them. So we compiled some simple loving words and phrases to say to your children to give them a little boost!

I LOVE YOU!

I’m proud of you.

You did great!

I’m glad I’m your mom (OR DAD)!

I adore you.

You’re the apple of my eye.

Thank you.

I couldn’t imagine life without you!

You’re the best daughter (OR son) ever!

I admire your hard work.

I hear you.

I care for you.

I cherish you!

My day isn’t complete without a hug from you.

I enjoy spending time with you.

You make life fun.

Tell me about your day.

Remember when…

Sing “You Are My Sunshine.”

Be Careful! You’re Irreplaceable.

You’re a treasure!

ILY & 143

U R GR8T

Give them a hug and a kiss.

I love you more Each day!

Pick some positive phrases each day and say them to your beautiful child!

SUBSCRIBE TO POSITIVE WORDS RESEARCH!