Dating after a divorce may sound like a tiring and unpleasant experience. Some people even prefer staying in a dysfunctional marriage just to avoid getting into new relationships. However, all the people in the world are wired to connect with others, and if you take it slow and open up your mind, dating can be one fun and liberating experience.
Take it Slow
Right after the divorce, you should be patient and take some time to heal. Never rush into things and don’t even think about rebound relationships. Those could only cause more problems and unnecessary emotions. During the first few weeks after the divorce, take the time to rethink your desires, talents and reconnect with yourself. After you have a clear image of your future, then it is a good time to get back on the horse and look for a new partner. Remember to have some fun first, before you decide to enter another serious relationship, just so you would not miss out on perks of being single.
Have no Shame
The good thing about divorces today is that they can be done quickly and they are considered normal, rather than an exception. Most Americans want to get it over with fast and, for example, filing for divorce in Oregon is not that complicated. The positive thing about online divorce is that everything is done without any fuss and piles of papers, which gives you the possibility to start dating again in no time. When reentering the world of dating, don’t be ashamed of your past. In real life, relationships fail, people fail and that is perfectly acceptable in today’s culture. So don’t feel sorry for yourself, be confident, accept the reality, and you will have no problem reconnecting with people and fully trusting them.
Have a Support System
You should never date alone. Of course, that does not mean all of your dates should be in a group, but make sure to surround yourself with good friends to support you. Let your best friends cheer for you and gently encourage you to date and have fun. It is always good to have a shoulder to cry on in tough times, and someone to advise and listen to you whenever you need it. With dearest and nearest friends, everything seems easier. You can turn a new leaf and bravely start dating, when you know there is someone to watch your back.
Date outside the Box
Everyone has a type. That is how you ended up with your ex, and it may seem hard to imagine dating someone completely different. However, how can you know that is impossible if you have not tried it? Open up your mind and date different people. If you wish, you can try and stay within “your type", but it is always fun meeting people that are different than your ex, or even try and find a complete opposite of what you think you like. You will be surprised to see what type of people and personalities attract you, so have fun with them. Better yet, if the person is different than what you’re used to, the future relationship promises completely unique and unusual events to get you outside of your comfort zone for a change.
Talk to your Kids
Having kids at home may make dating after the divorce a bit tough. Now you are their model for everything and you want to be careful. Make sure to talk to your kids about the present situation and what is going to happen. Tell them that you will date again, but that you will not bother them with that too much. Be selective and choose partners only if you know they will be a good role model and that your children can connect with them, too. At the beginning, it is best to keep the dating details to yourself, and only introduce the date to your kids if you are certain about the relationship, in order to avoid causing anxiety with your children because of all the new people in your life. Also, tell them that they are your priority so they can be assured that they are loved and taken care of.
Don’t be discouraged after the divorce. It may seem scary, but dating is one fun experience that will encourage you to heal and have a bright future. Take things slow, talk to your kids and everyone will be happy at the end.
My name is Alex Williams, born and raised in beautiful Sydney. I am a journalism graduate and a rookie blogger trying to find my luck. Blogs are the perfect opportunity for presenting yourself to a wider audience, getting the chance to showcase my expertise and receiving recognition. I am a regular contributor at BizzMark Blog.